


The Secrets of Shattered Sexuality

by iFlipForRizzles



Series: Shattered Sexuality [2]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M, Rewrite, Sequel, second in a series
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-30
Updated: 2015-09-15
Packaged: 2018-04-18 01:08:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 31,699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4686557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iFlipForRizzles/pseuds/iFlipForRizzles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s been seven weeks since the Spell of Shattered Sexuality, and things in town are finally back to normal… Well, almost. Emma and Regina are on a mission to secure their happy ending, by ridding the town of its homophobia once and for all so that they may be together openly. But there are those, both inside the town line and not, who would do anything to stop them from falling in love – some of whom may be closer to home than they expect. (A humorous rewrite of the first half of Season 4B. Sequel to The Spell of Shattered Sexuality.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Gayness on the Edge of Town

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much to AndroidivaEnder for the incredible cover art! I heart so much

SSS

_The Forbiden Fortress (Who Knows However) Many Years Ago…_

“Stop.”

Ursula looked around, trying to find the owner of the voice.

“Just who the hell might you be?”

Turning around, the Queen of the Sea noticed a beautiful woman clad head to toe in black leather. She was holding a wooden staff and wearing a severe expression on her face. After a brief standoff, Ursula lashed out with her tentacles, latching on to the woman’s staff in an attempt to disarm her.

“Ursula,” she answered, “but you can call me Your Majesty.” Is it just me or was her tone a little flirty just there?

“I don’t bow down to fish,” the other woman, Maleficent, countered.

“Who are you?”

“I’m the person whose guard you either knocked out, strangled, or tried to impregnate. I don’t know what those tentacles are for,” she stated with only a little bit of curiosity.

“I was invited here, what’s your excuse?”

“This is my home.”

“So why did you send for me?”

“Believe me, I did not send for you.”

“Then what the - ”

_Woof woof bark bark growl grrr_

The two women stopped struggling over the wooden staff, turning instead to face the sound of the rapidly, and rabidly, approaching dogs. The woman in leather took back her staff, threatening to obliterate the dogs with the magic it possessed.

“I wouldn’t do that,” advised the stunning – despite the ostentatious fur coat – woman with a seductive voice, trailing behind the vicious beasts. “Don’t worry. They don’t eat fish… or dragon… Unless I tell them to.” She bent down to her dogs and blew some nasty green breath in their face. Instead of running for the hills, the dogs gave her their full attention when she informed them, “Thank you my darlings. Wonderful job. I’ll take it from here.” She rose to her feet and addressed the women before her once again. “Now, who’s going to tell me what in the hell I’m doing in this ghastly place?”

“Lovely question, because this _ghastly place_ is my home,” Maleficent informed the newcomer. “And I didn’t ask for any visitors.”

At that they all began talking over one another in a rush to defend themselves.

“I received specific instructions - ”

“As did I,” Ursula confirmed.

“I. Don’t. Care. You’re trespassing. And do you know what I do with trespassers?”

“Don’t even think it.”

“Now, now ladies,” a new voice, a male voice, cut in to their escalating argument. Rumpelstiltskin. They all turned quickly at the interruption. “Don’t tear each other apart. I need you all in one piece. Or rather, three pieces.”

“Rumpelstiltskin, it was you,” the dragon lady stated, obviously.

“Guilty,” he acquiesced with a bow.

“Does someone wanna tell me why I left the sea for this?” Ursula snarked.

“Oh yes, the reason for this little tête-à-tête- à -tête…à-tête. We all have something in common, apart from mutual distaste. We’re Villains. And it’s time the Villains got their Gay Endings.”

At their raised eyebrows, Rumple rolled his eyes and elaborated, “I meant gay as in happy. Their _Happy_ Endings.”

_Dun dun dun_

SSS

_Storybrooke, Main Present Day (Probably)_

Everything in Storybrooke was back to normal. The Spell of Shattered Sexuality was all but forgotten – meaning nobody talked about it and they all pretended that it never happened.

Nobody that is, save for a select few.

Hook entered the town library, hoping to get started with Belle right away on their search to free the fairies. He still felt terrible that Rumpelstiltskin used him to entrap them. (Never mind the old man he entrapped of his own freewill. Forget that guy.)

What he wasn’t expecting to find when he arrived was his current ally and the town werewolf/waitress locked in a heated make out session.

“Ah yes, very subtle. No one would ever catch you two in the public library where anyone could just walk in.” The women broke apart from one another, Belle turning away to hide her blush while Ruby glowered at the bisexual pirate. “As your friend,” he started, addressing Belle.

“Her friend?” Ruby barked out a humorless laugh. “Have you forgotten you once put a bullet through her?”

Hook rolled his eyes. Honestly, everyone else in this town forgot all of his past indiscretions. Why couldn’t she?

“ _As your friend_ I must advise against such public displays of affection. You know how this town feels about same-sex relationships.”

“Well excuse us, but not everyone has a big empty pirate ship all to themselves. The pawn shop has giant windows and Granny’s is the most public spot in town.”

“Need I remind you my ship has mysteriously disappeared?”

“Oh no, poor bebe!”

“Guys!” Belle cut in, tired of this argument. All of the newly awakened queer people in Storybrooke were finding it difficult to meet with their significant others undetected, and it was stressing everyone out. “Can we just get to work, please?”

With one last withering glare at each other, Ruby and Hook nodded their acquiescence and headed over to the books.

SSS

Across town in her new-old office, Regina was flipping through her son’s story book scrunching up her face adorably, when a plastic container of greens was set in front of her.

“How do you feel about kale salad?”

“Like someone’s trying to embrace all the lesbian stereotypes,” Regina deadpanned without even glancing up from the book.

“Well I’m fine with grilled cheese, but I know it gets to you.” It never failed to astound Regina how well Emma Swan knew her.

Trying unsuccessfully to keep the adoration from her voice, Regina scolded, “You eat like a child.” She spotted a brown soda bottle tucked under the blonde’s arm and her eyes zeroed in on the drink. “Is that a root beer?” she asked, interest suddenly piqued. She stared accusingly at her… girlfriend?

As if to counteract the unspoken accusation, Emma grabbed the bottle with her opposite hand and pulled out a second. “Two, I got you one. Thought you could use a break.”

To deflect the growing affection inside her, Regina replied, “A break from what? Dead end after dead end? This sorcerer – or author, or whatever he wants to be called – doesn’t want to be found.”

Emma offered Regina a look of understanding; this was, after all, her happy ending too. She wanted just as much as Regina to be able to be together in public, to hold her hand and go on dates. The realization overwhelmed her, but also excited her. She hadn’t felt this way about anyone since she was a teenager. She wanted to be able to enjoy it without the townsfolk chasing them both out of town with torches and pitchforks. Or was public stoning the medieval punishment for two women sleeping together? She couldn’t remember.

“It’s only been a few weeks,” Emma pointed out, hoping to comfort the other woman.

“Exactly, and I’ve conquered entire realms in less time.”

Oh, Emma didn’t need to be reminded of that. She may have swooned a bit at the memory of her Evil Encounters. But this was neither the time nor the place for swooning and thoughts of role playing… like Regina as the Queen and Emma as a rebellious peasant prisoner… Right, Operation Mongoose.

Heading over to dig through some of the mayor’s drawers, Emma asked, “Can you conquer these bottles? I thought they were twist offs.” Emma Swan: deflecting serious conversations with humor since 1983.

Falling easily into their familiar banter, Regina countered, “Do I look like I can pry them off with my teeth?” Emma turned back to face the brunette with a look that said she would love Regina forever if she had that ability. “I’m a queen, and a bit more refined,” Regina added with a touch of class.

This too Emma already knew. It was higher up on the endless list of things that attracted her to Regina. “Yeah, I got that,” she deadpanned while continuing to rifle through drawers. “My mom had a bottle opener here during her brief tenure, somewhere.”

Hearing the drawers and footsteps across the office, Regina finally glanced over to Emma. Noticing which drawer she was about to raid next, the mayor practically jumped out of her chair, crying out, “Wait, don’t – !” but it was too late. Staring up at Emma was a ripped up, taped together picture of medieval Regina kissing a familiar, constipation-faced man in a tavern. The Regina behind the mayor’s desk wore a look of defeat as her girlfriend caught sight of that cringe-worthy drawing. She pursed her lips together in an attempt to remain composed.

Emma pulled the offending picture from the drawer, staring at it in confusion, as if her mind couldn’t even comprehend what it was seeing. “What’s this?” Shoulders slumped, Regina could only stare sorrowfully at the blonde. “Did you take it from the book?” Emma asked, trying to understand why her girlfriend was hiding a picture of herself kissing her ex.

“It’s not from the book,” Regina responded regretfully. “Robin found it.” She struggled to get his name out, still appalled that she had wasted so much time on the man when Emma Swan had been there all along. “Before he left with his family. It appeared to him.”

This only further confused Emma. “It’s not your story? What is it?”

“Robin thought it was hope. A sign that our lives weren’t written in stone; that they could be changed.” At this Regina gave Emma a pointed glance. They – their relationship, their feelings for one another – were proof enough that destiny could be changed.

Their affectionate looks were rudely interrupted by hurried footsteps approaching the mayor’s office. Ruby and Belle burst in a moment later.

“There may be a way to get the fairies out,” Ruby hurried to explain their interruption of the couple’s lunch date. She gave Emma an apologetic glance, who returned it with a blush and quickly looked away. She still couldn’t get the image out of her mind of Mr. Gold’s shop in ruins from the werewolf’s activities with Belle during The Spell.

As the two new arrivals approached her desk Regina slammed the book closed on the picture of her and Robin. She didn’t want to subject them to that. She didn’t even want to look at it when she could help it.

“I found an incantation,” Belle explained. “It’s a part of a spell in an ancient tongue I’ve never seen before –”

“Which made translation pretty tough,” Ruby continued, breathless from excitement at her girlfriend’s brilliance. Realizing she’d interrupted said girlfriend, she grinned sheepishly and gesture for her to continue.

“But I did it. I found a professor of linguistics from Oxford, and he just E-Mailed me with the translation.”

Regina stared at Belle, a bit in awe despite herself. Not only did this girl before her potentially just solve one of the town’s bigger problems of the moment, she also figured out how to use the internet after being locked in the hospital’s dungeon for the better part of twenty nine years. Good for her!

“It’s an ancient ceremony, but one that will bring them back.” Emma looked equally as impressed. Red was beaming with pride. “I just need you to enact it,” she added, handing over the paper she’d been holding. Regina grabbed it, reading it over with interest.

“Ceremony, huh?” Setting the still unopened bottle of a root beer on her desk, Emma asked in her flirty tone, “Well Madam Mayor, ready to pronounce today Free the Fairies Day?” Emma smirked at her own teasing, and Regina picked up the soda bottle pretending not to be amused.

“Isn’t that in June?” Ruby pretended to ask seriously. Regina and Emma gave her the side eye at her bad pun while Belle looked on, confused.

SSS

 _The Enchanted Forest A Really Long Time Ago (Or Maybe Just Last Year. Who’s to say, really?)…_ Rumple lead the three villainous ladies to a cave in a mountain. They were in search of The Dark Curse. They each possessed a magical talent that would help overcome the traps set to keep the curse from being stolen. But there was one other reason he brought them along.

“I forgot to mention there’s one more thing guarding the curse. The Chernabog. An ancient demon that feeds on homosexuality. It seeks out the heart with the greatest potential for queerness, and devours it. That’s why I really needed you three. Between the three of you, he should be occupied for quite some time. Adieu!” And with a giggle and a wave, The Dark One was gone.

As the door closed behind him, a pixelated stone demon uncurled itself from a rock and glared down at the three women before it. Then it let out a screeching roar. Maleficent blasted some magic in its direction to slow it down as they scattered behind some nearby rocks.

The monster whipped its head in all directions, searching for the gayest heart. Rumple was right, the Chernabog did have a difficult choice to make.

While the demon was looking for them, Maleficent was looking for an escape. She found one on the opposite end of the cave. “There’s a crack in the wall. We can make it through it.”

“Well that’s easier said than done,” Cruella argued. “It doesn’t seem to know which one of us to go after first.”

“Doesn’t matter. Once it makes its choice the other two can make their way to safety.”

“So what, we’re just playing a game of heart roulette?” What’s curious is how the hell Cruella could make such a reference when neither Russians nor guns existed in the Enchanted Forest. _Or did they?_

Maleficent sighed in exasperation. “Once the other two are out of harm’s way, they can work together to save the one left behind. Must I figure out everything?”

“And we’re supposed to just trust you?”

“First time for everything.”

Slowly, with extreme caution, the three villainesses made their way out from their hiding places to face the Chernabog. It took a moment to examine each woman before making its choice.

“I knew it,” Maleficent proclaimed, aiming her magic staff at the creature. “You want darkness? I’ll give you darkness.” She used short, quick blasts of magic to distract the thing while her companions made haste for the cavern wall. They started climbing towards the crack at the top, seemingly leaving Maleficent to her doom. “We had a deal, witches!” Giving up on them, she turned her full attention back to the demon before her. Her magic was losing strength. When it finally gave out, she stood tall and prepared to meet her fate head on. The Chernabog came nearer, reaching for her with its claws “I hope you choke on my bones.”

Just as it was preparing to lunge, however, a strong green tentacle wrapped around her waist from behind, tugging her quickly to safety.

She was dropped unceremoniously onto the stone floor next to Ursula. The Chernabog let out a loud roar of defeat. Slowly, Maleficent rose to her feet, brushing dirt from her dress muttering, “Lovely. Now I’ll never get the smell of fish out of this dress.” It was the closest the sea witch would get to a thank you.

“You’re welcome,” she replied anyway. The three of them moved over to the cliff’s edge, staring smugly down at the roaring Chernabog.

SSS

_Storybrooke, Main Still The Present Day (Definitely Not The Day After)_

Of course Regina received almost no recognition from the fairies for her heroic efforts. Honestly, she expected nothing less from that closed-minded, ungrateful little…

But no matter. She could suck it up and ignore the injustice. She’d done it before… Well there’s a first time for everything, anyway.

The whole town – or anyone who mattered, anyway – were celebrating at, where else? Granny’s, of course. Regina briefly entertained the idea of putting in a new town hotspot, but ultimately had to put a pin in that idea. She had more pressing matters to attend to.

The Blue Fairy, or Mother Superior, or whoever, was for once not surrounded by her flock of mindless followers, and Regina intended to capitalize on the moment. She and Henry approached the booth where the fairy was sitting, clutching one of the many empty story books her son had found little more than a week ago.

“Go on mom, ask,” Henry encouraged. Always so optimistic, that one.

“Ahem, excuse me,” she offered brusquely, as excited about this meeting as Blue would be, she imagined. Sure enough, Blue looked up from her cup of tea, eyeing the former queen suspiciously. “May I ask you something?” Regina added, softening her tone.

Emma, sensing her girlfriend’s discomfort from across the room, looked around and spotted Regina at Blue’s table. Oh this she had to be present for.

“What can I do for you?” Blue asked distrustfully. Her tone was all kinds of unwelcoming.

Unperturbed, Henry plopped himself down next to Blue, conveniently blocking any exit she might try to make from this conversation.

Nervously tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, Regina slid the empty book over to the fairy just as Emma approached from behind. “Do you know what this is?”

Awed, Blue flipped open the book. “Where did you get this?”

“The Sorcerer’s mansion,” Emma answered. “Henry found dozens of these blank books there.”

“The Sorcerer’s here?” Did she sound… fearful?

“Well his house is, but we haven’t found him yet,” Henry explained.

“You’re looking for him?” This clearly surprised her.

“Well, _I_ was hoping he could… write me a happy ending.” Regina cringed, realizing how ridiculous that sounded. But she couldn’t very well tell this conservative fairy nun that she was looking for this sorcerer author person to lift the town’s prejudice on same sex relationships. There’s no way this woman would help them if she knew any of that.

Emma offered her a soft smile, both in support of Regina’s story and the simple fact that she was having this conversation – with the Blue Fairy of all people – for the both of them, and for their budding relationship.

Blue let out a surprised breath; this was truly not a conversation she’d been expecting to have with the former queen.

“That book seems to have great power,” Regina added when Blue didn’t respond.

“Oh it does,” she mumbled.

“So I thought if he rewrote it…” Regina held her breath, hoping the fairy would fill in the blank and spare her any more vulnerability. Blue simply looked up at her, speechless. Aggravated, Regina concluded, “I know, it sounds crazy.” With a fierce look in her eyes, she dared Blue to ridicule her.

“It’s not crazy at all,” she disagreed. This through Regina for a loop. “But you’re looking for the wrong person. Although The Sorcerer is a very powerful wizard, you should be looking for The Author.”

“Aren’t they the same person?” Emma asked rhetorically.

“Why would The Sorcerer have The Author’s book?” Regina wondered, wanting to further this conversation along.

“That is a quite perplexing question, and I’m afraid I do not know. But I do know that they are two _very_ different people.”

Excited to finally be getting somewhere with her investigation, Regina sat down across from the fairy and leaned in as she stated, “So, you know who The Author is.”

Leaning in as well, Blue responded with a whispered, “No,” that was clearly meant to be mocking. Easing up, she added, “But I do know he exists. I mean, if he is a he. I’ve never actually seen them. In fact, no one has; not for many years.”

Regina sighed in frustration, looking over to Emma as if to ask, ‘Now what?’ Emma looked just as puzzled. “So this is where hope has gotten me.”

“We’ll find him Regina.”

“Them,” Blue muttered under her breath. It’s not that she was concerned about gender identity – her conservative nature bristled at the idea of anyone not being called by their assigned gender.

Either not hearing or just completely ignoring Blue’s comment, Emma continued, “It’s not like he just vanished.” Turning to the fairy, she asked, “Blue do you have any idea why he might have disappeared?”

“Sadly no. But there are whispers that they left hidden clues in some of their works.”

“You mean works like Henry’s book?”

As she was about to respond, a deafening roar rocked the diner, stealing everyone’s attention away from their conversations.

They waited for a few seconds after the noise stopped, looking around at everyone else before Emma asked what they all were thinking. “What the hell was that?”

“I suppose we should go out and see what’s killing property values this time,” Regina answered with her typical snark that never failed to spark something in Emma’s chest. Still, who cares about property values? It’s not like anyone was coming or going from Storybrooke.

SSS

Rushing out the front door of Granny’s, Emma and Regina were faced with the terrified masses of Storybrooke’s lesser-known citizens, and the roars of a giant pixilated stone demon perched precariously on the clock tower. They came to a stop in the middle of that one road in town, followed by several other members of their usual team, the creature took flight and came swooping straight for them. They rushed out of its way, ducking and heading for cover against the side of some cars. Not necessarily the most ingenious of hiding places, but it worked in a pinch.

As the monster continued down the street, Regina stood up and headed for a nearby alley, dragging Emma along by the hand. When they made it to cover, Regina turned and addressed the rest of their group. Always three steps ahead of everyone else, she’d already come to a realization. “Did that thing come out of the hat?” Speaking directly to Belle, she added accusingly, “I though the spell was only supposed to release the fairies.”

“Maybe it is some kind of fairy,” Mary Margaret added, helpful as ever.

Knowing how Regina could snap under pressure, Emma tried to diffuse whatever witty retort her girlfriend had in store for her mother by suggesting, “Why don’t we just put it back in the hat and figure out the rest later?”

“Because we can’t. Once something’s freed it can never be retrapped.” Convenient.

“Great, so our best defense against magical beasts follows the same rules as chicken pox?” Under normal circumstances Regina would have found one of those classic Emma analogies adorable and would be fighting off the urge to kiss her. That would just have to wait for later.

“Surely The Savior and The Evil Queen can defeat a simple hell beast.” Emma bristled at the use of Regina’s old moniker. Where the hell did Hook come from anyway? Shouldn’t he be running around with one of his new boyfriends and leave the crises to the grownups?

“Can we drop the E word already?” Regina requested, tired of having this same conversation but still a lot more polite than Emma was prepared to be. The two of them shared a look and nodded in agreement, turning back towards the street to face the latest monster.

The demon had circled back, clearly in search of something, and when its eyes landed on the two women it stopped, seemingly finding its mark. Nodding again, they through their arms out and blasted it with the most powerful magic they could summon.

Neither of them thought they would ever get used to the overwhelming feeling that came over them every time their magic combined. It was almost indescribable. Almost, because they both suspected a few powerful words could define the sensation, but those choice words terrified the two women more than the monsters they’d faced ever could.

Emma found the notion ridiculous. Obviously it worked for her parents – she was living, breathing proof that it was real – but she had never given the idea much though in regard to herself. She lived in the real world. That kind of relationship wasn’t meant for someone like her.

Regina had experienced first-hand a feeling similar to the one she felt when her and Emma made magic, but never to this extent. She imagined if she had been able to marry Daniel, to experience the kind of relationship they had been destined to have, she might have come close to experience what she did when her magic and Emma’s combined. But after everything that happened with Daniel, and that whole disastrous mix up with Robin Hood, Regina’s very being cringed away from the idea of what that experience could mean.

They blasted the monster with Emma’s white magic, with Regina’s red, and with a lot of fire, finally annoying the beast into a retreat. The problem was solved, if only for the moment.

“Well that was easy,” Emma commented, grinning slightly, the aftereffects of Regina’s magic lingering with hers.

“Don’t get excited,” Regina cautioned, sounding perturbed. “We only stunned it. And a blast like that should have destroyed it.”

“I was just getting used to things being relaxing around her,” Emma lamented, annoyed that her burgeoning relationship would have to be put on the backburner for whatever new problem the arrival of this creature signaled. Still, the sooner they get started the better. “Belle,” she turned on her heel to face the librarian, prepared to hand out the crew’s marching orders.

“I’ll see if I can find anything about this _thing_ in the library.”

“Thanks,” Emma said, sounding surprised. “And Mary Marg–”

“I’ll get everyone to safety. I’m on it.”

“Wow, you guys really have this down,” Emma noted, stunned.

“Well this isn’t exactly our first rodeo,” Ruby pointed out, heading off in the direction of the Charming’s Loft for babysitting duty. Emma let out a soft laugh of agreement.”

“Well now that that’s settled, what’s say you and I figure out a way to clip this bat’s wings before it comes back?”

Grimacing with the knowledge of all the research they would spend the day doing, the thought of alone time with Regina still sounded incredibly appealing. “I’d say that’s the best offer I’ve had all day,” she replied, equal parts sarcastic and flirty. Regina gave her a playful glare, as thrilled by their afternoon plans as Emma.

SSS

They’d been back at her office for less than ten minutes when her phone rang, displaying Gold’s number of all people. Judging by the look of complete surprise on her girlfriend’s face, Emma could only guess it wasn’t the man in question who called. “Regina, who is it?”

Regina took a moment longer to reign in her shock at finding out an old… ally? acquaintance? enemy? – had somehow found her way into this world. Then she answered both Emma’s question as well as the greeting from the caller with, “The Sea Bitch.”

Emma’s brow wrinkled in confusion, trying to piece out which fairytale character they had on their hands now.

“I’ve missed you too,” Ursula responded through the phone. “How are you?”

“Mostly wondering how a plate of undercooked calamari ended up with The Dark One’s cell phone.” And how she came to be in a world with cell phones.

“I stole it from him.”

“Regina.” The mayor looked over at her blonde girlfriend, the no nonsense look she was wearing, her obvious impatience at being left out. Pursing her lips, she pulled the phone away from her ear and put it on speaker.

“And where is he now?” Regina asked.

“If we’re lucky, probably passed out at the dive bar where Cruella and I left him.”

“Cruella?” The surprises just kept coming. Ursula she could handle, even liked in a way, but Cruella was a whole other animal… pun intended.

“Yes, we’re back together.”

That was what surprised Emma the most. Were there relationships like hers and Regina’s back in the Enchanted Forest? Was it only the Villains who could have such untraditional relationships? Was Cruella even from the Enchanted Forest?

“Rumple found us in New York; said he needed some old friends.” Regina and Emma shared looks of suspicion. If these two had been in contact with Gold, there’s no telling what they were up to. “Told us a tearful tale about how he was living in a quaint town until he ruined everything. But he said it was a special place where Villains could find redemption.” Regina closed her eyes regretfully. She didn’t trust either of these women as far as she could through them – without magic – and yet it would be completely hypocritical of her to deny them the same chances she had. And even though _some heroes_ could get away with being hypocrites, that wasn’t who she wanted to be. She was being backed into a corner and there was nothing she could do about it. “Regina, Rumpelstiltskin told us how you’ve changed, and we’ve changed too.” Regina’s eyes told Emma she didn’t believe a word of this. And yet she continued to humor them. “And we’d like a chance to prove it to you. _Please_. Let us in.”

Everyone was silent while the mayor deliberated. Emma stared at her intently. Regina smirked at her, and that was all the reassurance Emma needed.

“Sorry dears, but we have enough problems without inviting two –”

Just then the roar of the monster from Hell sounded throughout the town, interrupting whatever snarky reply Regina was about to give them.

“Is one of those problems a hell bat with beady eyes and devil horns?” Ursula questioned, clearly already knowing the answer.

“How did you know that?” If Regina wasn’t suspicious before.

“Because that’s the exact same sound it made before it tried to kill me.”

“Oh, so you’ve faced this creature before.” What an incredible coincidence.

“Yes. And I can tell you exactly what it wants.”

“How convenient.”

A thought occurred to Emma, and she held her hand over the phone’s mouth piece to whisper, “They’ve been living in A Land Without Magic. How could they do it?” And then she realized, “It’s the hat,” like Regina hadn’t realized that very thing a half hour ago.

Trying to hold her resolve, Regina finally had to admit defeat. “Ugh, I know.” And then louder, “Fine. Tell us what it wants.”

“And then you’ll let us in?” Ursula checked.

Regina laughed. “Well even if I wanted to I couldn’t.”

“Well then I guess you’re on your own.”

Regina reached to hang up the phone, but Emma held her hand over it before she could. “Wait.” Regina looked at her expectantly. The hell bat roared outside. “The Snow Queen’s scroll let her into Storybrooke once. Maybe it’ll work for them.”

Regina looked utterly tortured. “Alright, Squid. _If_ your information pans out, we’ll _consider_ letting you in. Those are my terms.”

Regina stared at the phone expectantly, and Emma stared at her.

And finally, “You’ve got a deal.”

SSS

After getting off the phone with Ursula, who had proceeded to tell Regina – and by default, Emma – all about the Chernabog, the mayor was hurrying around her office closing up all the curtains and locking her doors like that would somehow prevent the creature from finding her. Emma thought it was all a bit ridiculous, and strangely endearing.

“Regina we’re not sure it’s after you.” Emma reached out, holding onto the other woman’s shoulders in an attempt to get her to calm down, but Regina was having none of it. She just kept pacing around the office, pulling herself from the blonde’s grasp like she hadn’t even noticed it was there.

“Of course it’s after me. Ursula said it devours the heart with the queerest potential –”

“Yeah, but there’s a lot of couples like us sneaking around town –”

“Emma, when is it ever not me? I mean unless there’s a… a dwarf named Gaily? It’s _me_.”

“Well we’re not gonna just sacrifice you,” Emma said casually, humoring her girlfriend’s paranoia.

“I’m not sure we have much of a choice,” Regina responded, completely missing Emma’s teasing.

Emma’s head tilted in thought. “That thing’s magical, right?”

“I would say magical’s a pretty good guess,” she agreed impatiently.

“So if it’s magic, what happens if it leaves town for a world with no magic?”

“… No magic, no beast.”

“So all we have to do is lead it over the town line.”

Regina was nearing full blown panic mode. It took all of her patience not to irrationally snap at the blonde, as she was prone to do to those around her. Lashing out was all she’d known for a very long time. But hearing the genuine concern in Emma’s voice, even if she didn’t fully believe Regina was the target, meant more to the brunette than she knew how to express. So she did her best to reign in her rising temper.

“The Chernabog withstood both of our powers combined. Even if I poof myself to the town line, the second I’m out in the open it’ll crush me like a bug.”

The mention of a bug gave Emma another idea. Again she reached out, gripping Regina’s shoulders, comfortingly, reassuringly. This time she let Emma hold her. “Not if you’ve got some help. Trust me.”

And even as she sighed in frustration at their entire situation, Regina knew she would comply with the blonde’s request, because she did. She did trust her.

SSS

After a quick call to Emma’s parents to update them on the situation, Emma and Regina piled into the yellow bug and sped off through town, the Chernabog hot on their tracks.

Attempting to distract herself from the return of her crushing panic, Regina asked a question that had been eating at her for quite some time.

“What made you choose yellow?” Her voice held more than a touch of judgment.

“What?” Emma asked, glancing at Regina in disbelief. What the hell was she talking about?

“Your bug. Yellow? Bold choice.”

“I like yellow. I stole it. Is this really the time to question my taste?”

Realizing she was trying to pick a fight, Regina apologized. “Sorry, I’m just trying not to think about being some demon’s lunch.”

Understanding dawned on Emma. “You’re not going to be,” she promised.

Regina, however, wasn’t nearly as convinced as Emma seemed to be. “Glad you’re confident.” Just then the beast latched onto Emma’s car, twisting and turning it all over the road. “What is this thing made of tin?” Okay Emma was going to have to have a serious conversation with her girlfriend about her car bashing. It was simply uncalled for.

“Hang on, we’re almost there,” she said, hoping to reassure the other woman in some small way. Emma continued swerving down the long stretch of road, hoping to shake the monster off. Instead it slammed its fist through her windshield.

“It’s too late.” Regina’s voice was rising with every word she spoke, her panic reaching new levels. “I’m not going to let both of us die in this metal coffin on wheels.” She turned to face Emma, her words both intense and oddly detached. “Thanks for trying Miss Swan.”

At the formal address Emma finally looked over to Regina, completely bewildered at what was happening. “What?” But with a puff of purple smoke Regina vanished from the passenger seat of the bug. “Regina?” Emma cried, looking around frantically. She reappeared a few hundred feet down the road, just at the edge of the town line, while the Chernabog continued thrusting its big ugly rock hands through her window.

“HEY!” Regina shouted, waving her hands around hoping to catch the creature’s attention. It glanced up in her direction and let out a roar. Emma stepped on the gas, aiming right for her girlfriend with a look of complete determination on her face. At the last second she slammed both feet on the brake. Regina ducked just as the monster was finally thrown from the bug and over the town line, vanishing into nothing.

Both women let out the breaths they didn’t know they were holding. Regina smiled in complete admiration at the savior. Normally Emma hated being looked at like she was some sort of epic hero, but coming from Regina? She licked her suddenly dry lips as she stepped out of the car and walked over to join her girlfriend at the town line. Regina grabbed onto her shoulder, just to reaffirm that they were both in fact still alive.

“Emma!” the distinct voice of the blonde’s mother called out, startling the women and putting some distance between them as they turned around. The sheriff’s car had just pulled up and both of her parents were rushing over to them. “Are you alright?” David asked as his wife pulled their daughter in for one of her bone crushing hugs.

“Yeah,” Emma breathed, still more relieved than anything that Regina was okay, despite the brunette’s best efforts.

Looking around, Mary Margaret spotted the flashy car parked just outside of town, and the two women leaning against it. Seeing no sign of the monster that had been terrorizing Storybrooke, she could only conclude, “So Cruella and Ursula were telling the truth.” She sounded strangely disappointed.

“It would appear so,” Regina agreed. Emma held out the Snow Queen’s scroll.

“No, wait. Emma, I – I think this is a bad idea.” Emma and Regina’s faces showed complete surprise that the good and pure Snow White would ask them to go back on their word. She elaborated, “Look, they may have told the truth this time. That doesn’t mean they can be trusted.”

“Mom, this doesn’t sound like you. You always believe the best in everyone.”

“I’m also a realist.” And everyone present just laughed and laughed… But like, in their heads because the mood was too serious for jokes.

“Emma she’s right,” David agreed, smiling at the thought that his wife was a realist. But he did agree with her about trusting Cruella and Ursula. “Things were just starting to get back to normal in Storybrooke.”

“You too?” Emma asked, wondering what alternate reality she’d just stepped into.

“We don’t know anything about these two. They could be looking for redemption, but they also could be as evil as Mr. Gold, or Zelena, or worse.”

Emma hesitated for just a moment. “That could be, but they just helped us and we made a deal.”

“Doesn’t matter,” Mary Margaret quickly cut in. “It’s a bad idea. They’re Villains.”

Regina bristled at the term, and the hypocrisy of it all. “You’re right they are. They’re horrible.” Mary Margaret nodded, glad that was settled. “But not as horrible as I once was.” Mary Margaret looked back to Regina, incredulous. “And if I deserve a second chance, so do they.” Realizing the trap they’d fallen into, the Charmings could only stand there dumbfounded while Regina made her case. “How could I sit here looking for my happiness,” she made a pointed effort not to look at Emma as she said this, “and deny two others a chance at theirs?”

Emma was nearly overcome with the warm feeling Regina’s speech had stirred in her. She was so proud. “I’m with Regina.” Realizing how that sounded, she quickly added, “We let them in.” And without further ado she passed the scroll over to her secret girlfriend, looking between her parents to make sure they wouldn’t continue to argue.

Receiving no further complaints from the Charmings, Regina took the scroll from the blonde and turned to face Cruella and Ursula. Looking as uncertain as she felt, Regina tossed them the key to her town.

SSS

Simple, he said. All they’d have to do is “repent their wicked ways” and “make friends”. AKA act good and straight. Like these people would believe them even if they were capable of it. Besides, they had bigger problems.

“Regina,” Ursula stated.

“And what makes you say that?” Rumple wondered.

“That beast was unable to defeat her,” Ursula explained like it should have been obvious; like that very beast wasn’t unable to defeat her own friend way back when. “As gay as Maleficent, Regina’s queer heart is far stronger.”

Bringing their group to a halt, Rumple nearly snapped, “You are so filled with assumptions. Regina is not the one we have to worry about.”

“What?”

“That beast did seek out the heart with the greatest potential for queerness, yes. But it wasn’t going after Regina. It was after Emma Swan.”

SSS

“Don’t you ever pull something like that on me again!” Emma demanded, wrapping her arms around Regina in a tight embrace. They had only just closed the door to Regina’s room after making sure Henry was sound asleep. Emma’s arms were around her so fast she had no time to return the hug, and instead her arms were pinned uselessly at her side. Her eyes blinked rapidly in confusion.

“What on earth are you talking about?”

“All that noble sacrifice crap!” Emma explained, tightening her grip even more.

“Emma. Can’t. Breathe,” Regina managed to gasp out. Reluctantly the blonde pulled back, but only enough to grip her arms and look into her eyes.

“You scared the hell out of me today.” Regina had the decency to look at least somewhat contrite. “You have to promise me, whatever troubles we face, we’ll face them together. As a team. Okay?”

Feeling the sting of tears building in her eyes, Regina could only nod in affirmation. It had been so long since someone besides her son cared so strongly whether she lived or died. Emotions threatening to overwhelm her, Regina leaned in and sealed her promise with a kiss.

SSS

“Well, well, well, look who’s here,” Cruella crooned, approaching the Charmings with Ursula by her side. “It’s been a long time.”

“We gotta talk,” David pointed out, cutting right to the chase.

“Oh so the prince wants a chat. Okay, handsome. Talk.”

“This is our town,” Mary Margaret said, ignoring the request for David to speak. Everyone knew she was the boss in their relationship anyway. “Now if you’ve really turned over a new leaf, you’re welcome to stay.”

“My aren’t we generous,” Ursula responded sarcastically.

“On one condition,” Mary Margaret added. “No one must ever know what happened between us in the Enchanted Forest.”

“Do you mean that time the five of us..?”

“Oh, God, no! I mean, yes that too, but no. I’m talking about the other thing. And if you say one single word to anyone – especially Emma – well you won’t have to worry about the Evil Queen. I’ll rip out your hearts myself.” And everyone present just laughed and laughed… But again, only in their heads because the mood was still too serious for jokes.

SSS


	2. Unforgiving

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoa sorry guys, something weird happened when I uploaded this. Basically I uploaded the full story, and then the first chapter as another story by mistake. I'll quick upload the other chapters. Sorry for the mix up! Please enjoy!

SSS

“Uh, darling, how much longer for those drinks?” Cruella inquired of the old woman meticulously slicing lemons behind the counter. They’d ordered ages ago and she still showed no signs of heeding their request. In fact, in response to Cruella’s question, the woman gave them only a blank stare before moving to put the lemons away. Cruella pressed her fingers to the bridge of her nose in aggravation.

Just then a man with close cropped hair and a leather jacket wondered up to the bar, all, “Hello mum, the usual please.”

And Granny was all too happy to serve him, though her motives were far more complicated than Cruella and Ursula would suspect. “Oh, you betcha!” _Anything for the boy keeping that wretch away from my granddaughter._ She handed him two coffees that seemed to appear out of thin air.

“Cheers.” And just like that he was gone again.

Granny moved along down the bar, still pretending not to see the two Villains seated at her counter.

“You know, if that old bag still wolfed out I’d turn her into a coat for my collection.”

Ursula was saved from trying to think of a response to that by the tinkling of the bell over the door once again. This time it was someone she was much more interested to see.

“Regina! We could use a heart ripper over here.” The heart ripper in question stood stunned in the entrance of the diner. “Granny needs a little encouragement in taking our order.”

“Yes, a very effective tactic,” Cruella agreed, taking in the boy next to her old rival. “Didn’t you once rip out the heart of every villager in the North Woods?”

“Or was it the South?” Ursula added for fun.

Simmering, Regina held back her response in favor of turning to Henry and saying, “Uh, why don’t you head to my office; get started on the book?”

“Sure,” Henry agreed. “Make sure to get chocolate _frosted_ donuts, not chocolate donuts, okay?” When he said things like that, it was hard for Regina to remember her little boy was growing up at all. She nodded in agreement, watching to make sure he was well and truly gone before officially addressing the two women before her.

“Let me be clear, ladies. If you bring up my former sings around my son again, you’ll find yourselves across that town line faster than you can say costume jewelry.” At this she sent a very pointed look to Cruella, who appeared aghast at the insinuation.

“These are blood diamonds, I’ll have you know.”

“Come on Cruella, let’s take our business elsewhere.”

SSS

Emma was just walking up to the diner when she ran into Hook. “Hey, I was just heading in to grab lunch with my parents. Wanna join?” They hadn’t seen much of each other since the break up and she wanted to keep things friendly between them. After all, he’d proven to be at least somewhat useful during a fight, and if any more monsters started popping up in town she was sure he would come in handy.

At the mention of her parents Hook stopped walking, suddenly looking incredibly awkward. “Uh, that’s quite alright. I wouldn’t want to intrude.”

Just then the two newest residents of Storybrooke came out of the diner. As they walked by, Ursula through a casual, “Hook,” over her shoulder in greeting. Emma wondered if she was chopped liver or something. Where was her hello?

She noticed Cruella rubbing Ursula’s back comfortingly and suddenly wondered about the history between her ex and the Sea Witch. He looked kind of guilty, but then again he looked that way so often it was hard to tell the difference between that and his regular face.

“You know her?”

“Aye, I encountered many a vile creature on my voyages.” But he still looked guilty, and Emma was still suspicious.

“Emma!” David called, hurrying down the steps of the diner. He stopped short when he noticed who she was with. “Hook,” he greeted uncomfortably. Hook nodded in return. As if Emma wasn’t confused enough, now she had to be reminded that her father and Hook were acting weird. She would have thought it was the break up, but they were like acting this way long before then. Ugh, she needed a drink.

“I’m glad you’re here,” David continued. “We have to go.”

“What, now? I just came to meet you for lunch. I’ve been dying for a grilled cheese all day!” Plus she wanted to say hi to Regina before she headed to the office for the rest of the day.

“That’ll have to wait. You’re aware we have two new friends in town. They’re up to something. If we hurry we can pick up the trail.”

Pouting, Emma turned away from the diner and led her father over to the sheriff’s car.

SSS

After dealing with the Charmings and their over the top paranoia surrounding Cruella and Ursula, Regina made her way to her office to bring Henry his donuts and check on his progress. He hadn’t found anything yet, but he’d only just started. She had faith in her son.

“How are you doing?” Knowing what he was wondering about, but not wanting to burden him with her issues, Regina assured him that she was fine. “You didn’t seem fine when we ran into Ursula and Cruella.”

“Well…” She took a second to formulate a response; one that wouldn’t patronize him, but also wouldn’t scar him for life. The struggles of your child turning into a teenager. “I suppose that’s because they remind me of a time in my life I’d rather forget. A time when I was a true villain.” And suddenly she wasn’t just talking to her son; she was sharing her most vulnerable self with a caring, compassionate person. It was a relief. “Makes me doubt if my happy ending’s even possible.”

“You can’t think like that.”

“I know. But sometimes I wonder if I can ever be as happy all the time as I am when it’s just you, me, and Emma.” Henry’s face was a mix of understanding and teenage disgust at the thought of anything romantic involving his parents. He loved his moms, he was beyond ecstatic that they’d found each other, and those were the happiest times for him too, but that didn’t mean he wanted to think about their relationship too much. Especially with the knowledge of that curse a few weeks earlier. “That feeling is the closest I’ve ever been to happy. I want to have more of that.”

Pushing aside his teen angst, Henry reached out and held his mother’s hand. “You will mom. We’re gonna find the author, and when he rewrites the rules, everything will be the way you want it to be.”

Touched, Regina gave her son her softest, most affectionate smile. He returned it with his own excitable, mischievous grin, taking a giant bite out of his donut.

SSS

Sitting on a stakeout with her father – a stakeout that was admittedly unfounded and possibly illegal – Emma decided to confront her father about his and her mother’s recent squirreliness.

“I get that you’re not a fan of Ursula and Cruella, but am I missing something? Did you know them back in the Enchanted Forest?”

Sighing reluctantly, David admitted, “Your mother and I had some run ins with them. They weren’t pretty.”

“And?” Emma pressed when it appeared that he wasn’t going to say more.

“And what?” he asked, playing dumb.

“I just feel like you’re leaving stuff out… Are you?”

Looking like a deer in headlights, David was spared having to answer her by his nemeses leaving the pawn shop. “Wait. Here they come. Call Belle. I wanna know exactly what happened in that shop.”

Emma would have to let the conversation go for now. But her suspicions were far from eased.

SSS

“Hey, I heard you had a couple of visitors. How are you?” Ruby asked, entering the shop and pulling her girlfriend into her arms. Belle tucked her head into the taller woman’s neck.

“Better now that you’re here.”

Ruby had rushed over as soon as she heard the town’s latest visitors had been seen leaving the pawn shop. Granny was extra huffy about her leaving, not only in the middle of her shift but to see Belle of all people. Needless to say her grandmother had her suspicions about their relationship, and she was about as pleased as anyone else in this town would be if they found out. But her family drama would have to wait. Belle needed her.

When they first learned of Cruella and Ursula’s arrival in Storybrooke, Belle had been so panicked she just had to tell someone about what had happened. Ruby held her while Belle told her girlfriend all about the time she’d been kidnapped by those two, as well as Maleficent, and how she was nearly choked to death by Ursula’s slimy tentacle. She also remembered how Rumple had seemingly given up an incredibly powerful object to save her, how touched she’d been at the time, and how she’d recently discovered it was all a lie; just like his dagger.

Ruby was a great listener, always had been Belle thought. She was only sad she’d wasted so much time on The Dark One when her truly beautiful beast had been there for her all this time.

A few minutes passed before the sound of Belle’s phone ringing broke them apart.

“Back to work,” she sighed. Ruby groaned, kissing her cheek before leaving for the rest of her shift at the diner.

SSS

While David conspicuously followed Cruella’s ostentatious car, Emma had been on the phone with Belle. Hanging up, she turned to her father and explained, “Belle said she checked the back. She’s pretty sure there’s a wooden box missing.”

“What was inside it?”

“She doesn’t know.”

“Well let’s find out.” David flipped on the sirens, finally having a reasonably excuse to pull them over.

Emma stayed with the two while David searched the vehicle, because no one needs a warrant in Storybrooke. After digging around in all the usual spots, he finally found a hidden compartment under the passenger’s seat. Sure enough, there was a wooden box, and inside he found an artifact that made his heart stop.

All of this went unnoticed by Emma, who was being surprisingly unobservant for someone so suspicious.

SSS

After dropping her dad off at the loft Emma went over to the station to look for more clues in this made up investigation. She was tapping away at old computer when she heard the distinct click of heels down the hall.

Regina entered her office holding out a brown take out bag from Granny’s. “Grilled cheese, just the way you like it. Greasy and disgusting. With a side of onion rings.”

“Wow what’s the occasion?” Emma teased, taking the bag eagerly.

“What, I can’t just bring my hardworking girlfriend lunch because I missed seeing her at the diner?”

Emma’s heart stuttered wonderfully at the word girlfriend, but she didn’t comment on it. Labeling their relationship was an even bigger deal for Regina than it was for Emma, which was saying something.

“Of course you can, but I don’t think you did.”

Regina glared teasingly at Emma, still a little stunned sometimes by how well the blonde knew her. “Fine, I didn’t just come here for that. Henry and I may have found something.”

Emma shot to attention, the bag of food momentarily forgotten on her desk as she turned back to Regina. “What? What is it?”

“Well I noticed that some of the pages were different, and Henry told me about how August added his own story,” Regina explained.

Trying to be supportive, Emma couldn’t help deflating a bit. She already knew all of that. She failed to see how this helped them. “Yeah, but August isn’t here anymore.”

“I know, but Pinocchio is. Marco’s bringing him by later this afternoon so we can talk to him and, well,” Regina paused, glancing down at her shoes and fiddling with the hem of her coat. She was nervous. She knew it was a long shot, but they still had to try. “I was hoping you could be there.”

Softening, Emma reached out and grabbed Regina’s hands. “Regina. Of course I’ll be there.” A smile slipped out before Regina could stop it, flashing her teeth and everything. “Let me just finish looking into this thing for my father and then I’ll head over.”

Glancing at the computer screen, which had finally loaded the video footage Emma was looking for, Regina could only roll her eyes. “He’s having you look into the sea bitch and Peta’s worst nightmare?” Of course the two idiots couldn’t give a couple of Villains the benefit of the doubt. “Good luck.”

“Thanks,” Emma deadpanned, reaching into the bag and pulling out an onion ring. Regina wrinkled her nose in disgust, making a hasty retreat from the sheriff’s station.

SSS

It took Emma a bit longer than expected to finish going over the tapes from the pawn shop, which surprisingly showed exactly what David had accused them of. For a while there it seemed like he was sending her on a wild goose chase based on past prejudices.

And hey, speak of the devil.

As she was walking over to the mayor’s office Emma ran into her parents, loading up their truck with a lot of gear for… camping?

“Hey!” Emma called out, trying to mask her suspicion with cheerfulness. “Where you guys headed?” Hopefully it sounded like plain genuine curiosity.

“Emma!” Mary Margaret replied, hoping she came off as purely excited and not at all nervous to see her daughter.

“What are you going here?” David asked in the same manner as his wife.

“I found something on those women. Look.” She held out her phone, where she’d saved the security footage, letting her parents see what she’d found. “Looks like Belle was right. I think that’s the box that’s missing. That’s enough to drag them into the station, at least.” Emma looked pretty damn proud of herself. Too bad her parents were so wrapped up in their secrets they couldn’t see that and appreciate it.

“Well, let’s no jump the gun,” David disagreed. “We don’t even know what that is.”

“Wait, what? Two hours ago you guys were so amped up about these divas you didn’t even let me eat lunch, and now you’re –”

“Going for a hike,” Mary Margaret cut in, gesturing spastically to the gear in the truck. “We got Ashley to babysit Neal.” Emma had to take a pause. Who the hell was – Oh right, Cinderella. So many people in this town that she hardly ever saw, sometimes it was hard to remember who was who.

“So… now the crisis doesn’t matter. What the hell’s going on today?” Enough beating around the bush. Emma’s absolutely, without a doubt flawless lie detector skills were pinging off the charts. Like at least two more times than usual. She would get to the bottom of this.

Having had time to get his bearings, David was able to lie much more convincingly to his daughter. It was almost psychopathic levels of convincing. “Emma, your mother and I realized that we needed to take a step back from our crusade. The truth is we’ve been going about this all wrong.”

Taking her husband’s lead, Mary Margaret continued, “When we knew those women back in the Enchanted Forest, they were Villains; and ever since they’ve stepped foot in this town that’s exactly how we’ve treated them.”

“We chose to see the worst in them, but Emma, if they’re really going to have a shot at redeeming themselves, we have to choose to see the best.”

They were reciting exactly what Regina had said to them the day before, patronizing Emma like they needed to convince her to give the women a chance when they were the ones that dragged her into this whole investigation to begin with; because they’re the Heroes and she’s their sometimes morally ambiguous daughter. It was beyond disgusting.

Mind completely blown by what she was hearing, Emma could only ask, “You guys are seriously going for a hike?”

“I know it might be hard to believe we’ve backed off Ursula and Cruella, but your mother and I think it’s the right thing to do.” Mary Margaret at least had the decency to look upset about what they were doing. All she could do was attempt a nod of agreement that looked more like a neck spasm.

Emma thought about it for a moment. Should she trust her instincts that, when they were turned on, had never been wrong? Or should she trust her parents who, despite all their claims of heroism, hadn’t actually done anything to earn her trust?

“Well, if you need me I will be at the station.”

And while Emma felt like crap lying to her parents about her relationship with Regina, those were entirely different circumstances. Neither of them knew where the Charmings stood on the topic of homosexuality, but the odds were not in their favor. They were better off waiting until after they found the author and got the whole situation fixed. They were protecting themselves from being wrongfully judged for something that wasn’t actually bad. David and Mary Margaret were protecting themselves from being rightfully judged for something that was incredibly bad.

“David, is this really the right thing to do?”

“It’s the only way to make sure Emma doesn’t find out the truth.”

SSS

“Where the hell have you been?” Regina demanded the second Emma appeared in her door way. Puppetboy was getting nowhere with the book and Regina was very quickly losing her patience.

“On which watch. I was on my way here when I ran into my parents.” Regina raised an eyebrow. The woman lived with her parents, how could they possibly had held her up? “I’ll explain later. How’s it going here?”

“It’s not. He can’t remember anything.” And Emma could hear it; that tone that said Regina was getting desperate. Regina didn’t do well with desperate. Take yesterday’s actions, for example. Not to mention the entire existence of this town. “I was thinking, since you and August spent so much time together, that seeing you would jog his memory.”

Emma knew it was a long shot, but she would try anything if it would calm Regina down. Sometimes she worried the woman was going to give herself an aneurysm.

“Yeah… I guess I could give it a shot.” Relieved, Regina reached out and touched Emma on the back, then shoved her forward. Emma, nearly tripping over her feet with the force, turned back to Regina, her eyes asking _what the hell?_

Shaking her head, she walked over to Pinocchio. “Hey,” Emma greeted the inexplicably ginger boy – seriously, did August dye his hair or what? “Come here,” she requested, guiding him over to the couch. Everyone else followed them, standing around in a semicircle. “You remember me, right?”

“You’re Emma, the sheriff,” he stated simply.

“But you know that, back when you were… older?” she looked around, feeling overwhelmed by the whole situation. “We were friends.” He just stared at her in confusion. “You were a really smart grown up. So smart, you knew how to take that entire thing apart and add a story to it. And then, you put it all back together. Do you remember doing that, or anything else about the book?”

Regina bent down to his level, staring at him expectantly.

“I know everybody wants me to remember, but I just don’t.”

The next part happened in such a blur, Emma only got the gist of it before it was over, her and Henry ushering Pinocchio out of the office and down the hall to the vending machine. Basically, Regina totally lost it on a seven year old. In hindsight, she knew the mayor and former queen had been unleashing all of her pent up frustrations with Emma’s old friend on the boy he’d become, but at that moment all she could think was _seriously, what the hell?_

She’d been hoping that Regina would come to her senses while Emma and the boys were out of the room, that she’d apologize to Marco for freaking out on his son, but of course she didn’t.

“Wait, you didn’t apologize?” Emma asked, dumbfounded. Marco and Pinocchio had just left, and Emma asked Henry to wait in the lobby while she talked to his other mother. Regina looked away angry, but mostly at herself. “Regina, I get that you’re frustrated, and so am I, but he’s just a little kid. We knew there was a possibility he didn’t remember anything before he came.”

“I know!” she snapped. Biting her lip, she repeated in a softer voice, “I know.”

“Just imagine how you would feel if someone ever spoke to Henry that way.” Regina’s eyes widened at the thought, angering quickly at the possibility. “Regina, you need to go apologize to them.”

Sighing regretfully, Regina nodded her head in agreement.

                                                                           SSS

_Flashback Location: Enchanted Forest Time: One to Nine Months before The Dark Curse_

The Tree of Wisdom only answers the question of two straight Heroes, pure of heart.

So why didn’t it answer Snow White and Prince Charming’s question?

Cruella, Ursula, and Maleficent had sent them on a quest to find a way to defeat the Evil Queen’s dark curse.

No, the only conclusion Charming could come to was that, “Those witches had to have lied.”

“Do you think it’s a trap?”

“It’s not a trap, my dear. And we didn’t lie about anything.” Snow and Charming drew their swords against the approaching Villains, like they actually stood a chance in a fight against three witches. “Perhaps you two aren’t as straight as we thought.”

The Charmings bristled at the thought.

“We were fools to think we could work together.”

“Step aside and let us pass.”

With a lazy wave of her staff Mal unarmed the Heroes, who appeared generally stunned that she’d bested them. “No one’s leaving until we figure out why the tree didn’t answer your question.”

“Perhaps you got the rules wrong, darling.” Snow and Charming cringed in disgust at the term of endearment.

“No,” Mal disagreed. “The plan should’ve worked. Unless there was some interference; unless the tree sensed…” And suddenly Mal wasn’t across the clearing, but standing right in front of Snow White. She appeared rightfully terrified of the dragon woman before her. “How did I not see it sooner? The sparkle in your eyes, the glow of your snow white skin; you’re positively radiant, my dear.” Snow’s eyes widened comically at the suggestive tone in the other woman’s voice, her cheeks flaming bright red at the implication. Charming stared at the witch, ready to defend his wife’s honor against this homosexual villain. But of course these two idiots were so far from the point. Like she would ever trade her two glorious companions for this pure innocent Hero. “You don’t know?” she guessed, sparing the prince a glance. Then, to the princess, “You’re carrying a child.”

“What?” Snow asked in disbelief.

“We are?” Charming was overjoyed by the possibility. Oh Mal was going to enjoy bursting their bubble.

“That’s why the Tree of Wisdom knocked you back.”

“We’re going to be parents,” Snow whispered in awe to her husband, Mal’s words going right over her head.

“What does all this have to do with the tree?” he asked, finally catching on.

“Why would our child prevent us from getting an answer?”

“You may be heterosexuals, but that doesn’t mean your child will be.”

“Careful witch,” Charming growled, offended. She continued to smirk in pure delight. Oh this was too rich.

Circling around the Charmings, she explained, “Your child is the product of True Love, which means it could grow to be a powerful Hero, capable of a _proper_ love life. But, with that potential also comes something else.”

“What?”

“The potential for an undesirable one.” Taking her place next to Cruella and Ursula, she emphasized, “Your child might turn out to be just like us.”

“You mean a..?” Snow couldn’t even say it.

“A lesbian.” Of course all of this was for show. Anyone carrying a baby would be unable to receive an answer from the Tree of Wisdom, as all babies had the potential for non-hetero sexualities. Mal just really enjoyed messing with these two lauded Heroes. “Gayer than any this realm has ever seen.” It was all Cruella and Ursula could do not to burst out laughing at the looks of sheer horror on the two idiots’ faces. It was either laugh or cry in aggravation that their ‘lifestyle’ still wasn’t accepted in this medieval day and age. And those two didn’t cry. “Come ladies,” Mal requested. “It seems we’ll have to find another way to evade Regina’s Dark Curse.”

“Can I choke them first?” Ursula stared at the prince and princess in disdain. “My tentacles are bored.” *crickets* *cough sound*

“I have a feeling they have plenty of suffering in their future,” Mal argued, smirking. “Let’s go.”

SSS

_The Bowels of Storybrooke Nowish…_

“I trust they don’t suspect my hand in all this,” Gold stated, looking down at the unconscious bodies of David and Mary Margaret.

“They had no reason to,” Ursula assured him.

“And Belle?” he asked, trying to keep his voice neutral. “Did she have any suspicions while you were in my shop?”

“You mean did she ask about you?” Ursula teased.

“She didn’t even mention your name, darling,” Cruella added. “I’d say she’s moved on.” Oh they had no idea.

Barely suppressing his rage, Gold pulled a knife from his pocket and handed it to Cruella. “You know what you must do.”

SSS

Emma’s apology idea worked, and Marco sent Regina home with August’s backpack. Regina gave it to Henry at her office – looks like he’d be crashing there for the night – and headed over to the sheriff’s station to see Emma.

“Maybe Marco was right. Maybe I don’t deserve a happy ending.” They were seated on a couch by the windows in the main office and Emma had her arm around Regina’s shoulder. She gave the one beneath her hand a reassuring squeeze.

“Hey, that’s not true. You just had a minor setback.” Regina raised her eyebrows, calling bullshit. “It’s bound to happen every once in a while. The important thing is that you realize your mistakes and you learn from them. And you are. Regina, I’m so proud of how far you’ve come.”

“Really? Even when I tell you my apology started with something like, ‘Will you shut up, I’m trying to apologize’?”

Emma couldn’t help it. It was just so Regina. She burst out in hysterical laughter. Confused, Regina turned to stare at her girlfriend and question her sanity.

“Yes, even then,” she assured, wiping her eyes from the tears of laughter before sobering up entirely. She grabbed one of the brunette’s hands in both of her own. “I care about you, a lot.” Regina looked away from the blonde’s intense eyes, smiling shyly at the hands in her lap. “And I know you can do this. You wanna know how I know?”

Regina’s eyes snapped back to Emma’s. “How?” she asked uncertainly.

“My parents.” Regina’s forehead wrinkled in confusion.

Neither of them noticed the arrival of said parents, lingering at the entrance to the room.

After what they’d just experienced under the clock tower, David and Mary Margaret went to find Emma, determined to tell her everything. They needed her help. Clearly they were useless on their own. They were not expecting Regina to be there, nor for the two women to be talking about them. Curiosity peaked, they decided to eavesdrop like any noble-hearted person would do.

“I had this moment today where I doubted them. They said they were going for a hike and I actually thought they were lying to me.”

Instead of jumping to conclusions about Emma doubting her or snapping about the point of this story, Regina sat and listened, taking her words at face value. “Were they?”

“No, of course not, my parents would never lie to me. But the fact that I could think that they would, it reminded me that I have this tendency to expect the worst of people. In my childhood people were always letting me down and I…”

“Emma, I don’t ever intend to let you down.”

The Charmings watched and, despite their feelings of immense guilt, they were happy that Emma and Regina could find a friend in one another, that they could trust each other. They’d both come so far over the years.

“I know. And no matter what, I’m going to what my parents always do.” They held their breath, waiting for yet another horrific blow to their hearts. “I’m going to continue to see the best in you.”

Emma smiled her promise, and Regina returned it tenderly. “And I will do the same with you.” Emma’s eyes may have misted a little, but she decided it was only from the dusty room. That’s it.

Regina’s eyes flicker to her lips, but just as they were about to lean in and seal their promise with a kiss, a flash of movement from across the room caught their attention.

“Oh, sorry. We just, didn’t want to interrupt your conversation,” Mary Margaret explained, stepping further into the room.

“So you awkwardly stood there and listened?” Emma asked, laughing despite herself. She stood up, leaving Regina’s heart to regain its natural rhythm on the couch. “Next time interrupt.” Seriously, before they witnessed something they all would regret. Not that her clueless parents even suspected what they almost saw. Not even with what Mary Margaret knew about Regina.

“I’m afraid we have some bad news,” David explained. “It turns out Cruella and Ursula were up to something.”

“They resurrected Maleficent.”

Regina’s eyes widened in shock, her mouth falling open. She knew it was a possibility of course, but the probability of finding the kind of blood needed for such a feat, especially where Maleficent was concerned, seemed nigh on impossible. Who could have wronged her in such a way? The mayor rose from the couch to join the conversation.

“The dragon that I slayed under the clock tower?” Emma wondered.

“That would be the one. She’s back to her old self now.”

“And as long as she’s in town, no one is safe,” Mary Margaret added.

“I should’ve known fish sticks and pound puppy were here for more than a second chance.”

“I don’t get it. Why are these witches waging war against us?”

Mary Margaret and David shared a glance before looking down at the cuts on their hands. No, it hadn’t been the silly little trinket from Gold’s shop those two had needed. That had been a clever ruse on their part. One the Charmings of course had fallen for. Heroes, underestimating Villains since the beginning of time.

No, it was the Charmings’ blood that had been needed to raise Maleficent. _The blood from the people who wronged her most._

Remembering the conversation they’d just overheard between Emma and Regina, Mary Margaret and David decided they couldn’t tell her the truth after all.

“Because they’re Villains.” Regina rolled her eyes but said nothing. As far as she knew that was the only reason any of this was happening. “And we’re Heroes.”

SSS

_Nighttime An Undetermined Amount of Time After The Tree of Wisdom…_

“If we work together we will find a way to defeat Regina.” Maleficent had shown up in the Charmings’ bed chambers one night, creeping Snow right the hell out when she woke up to find the witch hovering over her bed. David was unconscious, though apparently not be Mal’s infamous sleeping curse if he would be awake by morning.

None of this was endearing Snow to help her out. Not even the fact that Maleficent was also pregnant.

“No,” she sighed pityingly.

“What?” Mal asked in disbelief.

“Not with you.” The dragon woman nodded her head slowly, understanding exactly what the princess meant. Still, she wanted to make her say it.

“Why not?”

“Because of what you are.” Anger and disbelief boiled in Maleficent’s stomach. Or maybe it was just regular fire. “If we succumb to darkness just to defeat this curse, our child will be doomed to that darkness as well.” Ah yes, the old ‘it’s contagious’ belief.

“You would risk the kingdom to ensure your child grows up hetero?”

Snow was baffled by the other woman’s disbelief. Wouldn’t anyone risk that? Do anything for their child to be normal? “Charming and I will win. But we won’t compromise who we are to do it. My child won’t become like you.”

SSS

Gold stepped out from the shadows of the building across the street from his old shop, trying to get a closer look at Belle through the blinds in the window. She was hanging glass ornaments in the window when another figure approached her from the side. It was that no good thief Will Something-Or-Other. His affectionate smile fell as he watched them smile and laugh. He took a step back in shock that his wife – ex-wife – had moved on so suddenly. Having seen all (he thought) he needed to see, Gold slipped back into the shadows.

He missed the part where Ruby stepped out from the back room and hugged Belle from behind. He missed Will, grinning shyly, slipped out the door. And he definitely missed Belle, smiling wider, turned in her arms and kissed her sweetly.

SSS

Another day, another night time meeting in the rain for Mary Margaret. This time it was Regina she had asked to see, and it had the woman in question worried. Did Emma’s mother suspect what was happening between them?

“What’s with all the cloak and dagger?” Regina asked, hiding her nerves behind her typical snark.

“They wanna destroy our happy endings,” Snow explained, cutting right to the chase. “All of them.”

“How do they hope to do that?”

“That’s where you come in. We need to find out what they’re planning. We need to get someone close to them; someone they believe to be a villain.” Regina really hoped this wasn’t going where she was sure it was going. “We want you to go undercover with them and help us stop their plans.”

“And you think they’re just going to welcome me into their coven with open arms?”

“Regina you used to be one of them.”

“They think I’m a Hero now. They’ll never believe I want in.”

“So find a way to make them believe.” Regina was speechless. Mary Margaret’s tone was going to that bratty princess place. She just expected everyone to go along with what she says with little to no help from her, and she wouldn’t take no for an answer. That only ever happened when she wasn’t giving someone the full story.

“What makes you so sure they’re dead set on destroying us?”

“Because of something David and I did a long time ago.” She clearly expected Regina to drop it. She clearly didn’t know Regina very well at all. “Regina, you once asked me to –” She choked on the words, remembering vividly the scene from the barn all those years ago.

_Going to the barn to get back on the horse. Seeing two women kissing. One of them was Regina. She called the other one Danielle. Confusion. Running away. Regina chasing her. “Why were you kissing that woman in the stable?” Regina explaining love to her, at a time when Snow didn’t know it was wrong for two women to be together. Being happy for Regina, wanting to tell her father. Regina stopping her, asking her to keep it a secret. They wouldn’t understand. Promising she would._

“Regina you once asked me to keep a secret. And I couldn’t.”

 _Seeing Regina in her wedding dress. Being in awe of her beauty. Thinking Regina was marrying Danielle; that somehow she_ could _marry Danielle. Explaining how she told Cora everything, thinking she would understand. Realizing Regina was upset. “I just didn’t want you to lose your mother.” Regina saying she understood, but she wasn’t marrying Danielle. Danielle was just a phase. Two women cannot love each other that way. No, Regina was going to be Snow’s mother instead. And she couldn’t have been happier about it._

“But I’m gonna ask you to keep one for me. One Emma can never learn.”

And that’s when Regina knew she was screwed. If she made that promise, she’d be agreeing to keep a secret from the one person she was supposed to share everything with. If she promised to keep the secret and then didn’t she’d be no better than the girl who betrayed her so long ago. And if she refused to keep this secret, refused to hear it even, Mary Margaret would finally realize something more than friendship was going on between her daughter and her former nemesis; between her daughter and another woman.

“What is it?” she asked without actually making any promises. She would decide what to do with the information once she learned what it was. Perhaps it wasn’t even anything important. Perhaps Mary Margaret was making it out to be a bigger problem than it actually was. Lord knows it wouldn’t be the first time she’s done so.

“Emma was born with the potential for great darkness.” And Regina didn’t need to hear anything more than that to know exactly what this was about. She knew the code words for queerness when she heard them. But she couldn’t very well tell Mary Margaret that she already knew all about Emma’s _darkness._ And as far as the other woman was concerned Regina was long past her interest in women. She herself had thought her interest in women had past, until she met Emma.

“But she’s The Savior. A Hero. Her magic’s as light as it gets.” Regina argued, hoping to deflect any suspicions Mary Margaret had about her daughter’s sexuality. Until Emma was ready to tell her, Regina would do everything she could to protect Emma’s secret.

“Because David and I went to extraordinary lengths to make sure it was.” All Regina could think was ‘Whoops’. A lot of good that did them.

Dropping the code language, Regina asked, “If you ensured her straightness why can’t you tell her?” And all the while she was trying not to laugh at the fact that the two idiots – she used the nickname affectionately now – didn’t ensure anything. Classic Charmings.

“For the same reason you don’t want Henry to hear about all the terrible things you did in your past.” Dammit, why’d she have to bring her son into this? She was all ready to righteously judge Snow White and Prince Charming for being less than perfect, for being hypocrites, but the need to do anything for your child was something Regina could relate to. Oh she was still judging them for trying to take a piece of Emma away, all for their idea of ‘good’ and ‘bad’, but keeping hard truths from your child? That was definitely something Regina understood. Ugh. “You wanna protect him, so he doesn’t lose faith in the person you’ve become; the person he always believed you could be. That’s why Emma can never find out what I’m about to tell you. She’s finally starting to open up her heart. And if she learns the truth, if we let her down, she’ll lose faith in us, and it could send her tumbling down a dark path. Because when you betray the people you love, when you make them see the worst parts of you, what you’ve done changes everything. There’s no going back. You’ve shattered the bonds you’ve worked so hard to forge. And the stronger those bonds once were, the more difficult they are to put back together… if they can be repaired at all.”

All of this Regina knew from firsthand experience – it was part of the internal struggle was now having about telling Emma whatever she learned here – but she also knew Mary Margaret needed to say these things out loud in order to truly process what they meant for her. It was probably a Hero thing. After a moment, when it became apparent that her monologue was finished, Regina finally said, “I don’t understand. What exactly did you do to Maleficent?”

Whispering like that would somehow make it less real, Mary Margaret finally confessed, “Because of us, Maleficent lost her child.”

SSS


	3. Enter Maleficent ;)

SSS

The wind picked up as Regina approached Granny’s Diner, whipping her hair around attractively. She wore her best villainous smirk. Inside, however, she was panicking. These women weren’t idiots… okay, Maleficent at least wasn’t an idiot. It would take all of her acting skills to convince her she really wanted to be on their team. Still, she knew she had to do this. For her family.

Mal was staring reverently at her strange orb when Regina entered the diner. She placed it delicately back on the table, turning her attention to the woman she had so much history with.

“So the rumors are true. You are back from the ashes.”

Mal was in no mood for her attitude. She was already so close to turning into a dragon and showing her what being ash is really like. “What are you doing here Regina?”

“Making it easier for you. If you want to try to kill me, I’m right here.”

In a flash Mal was across the diner and standing directly in front of her, invading her personal space like no time had passed.

“So that’s why you think I’m back? To kill you?” Despite Mal’s current mood, she really had no intentions of harming the other woman. She had bigger grievances to air.

“I trapped you underground for thirty years. And you’re not big on forgiveness.”

“That’s true, but what you did is nothing in the grand scheme. There are far worse crimes that must be answered for.” Regina raised an eyebrow, pretending to be surprised. In all honesty she was more than a little pissed at Snow White on this woman’s behalf. Not to mention Emma’s.

Regina feared her acting skills might have gotten a tad rusty, as Cruella remained suspicious. “Careful darling, she’s thick as thieves with those heteros.

“Not by choice,” Regina countered, throwing as much disgust into her voice as possible. “You know how much I wanted my revenge. But in this town, I had to play nice to survive. Alone. Watching them enjoy the happiness I was denied. If you’re planning on destroying some of that happiness, I want in.” Despite sounding a tad bit rehearsed, as it was, Regina thought her monologue turned out alright. However, not everyone was so convinced.

“You can’t expect us to believe that,” Ursula argued.

“Of course she doesn’t. That’s why she’s here. She wants us to see she’s still one of us.” It was impossible to tell if Mal was buying her story or not. It was easy to see where Regina learned some of her mind games.

“I am,” she insisted.

“Then let’s find out,” Mal offered. She reached over and grabbed a shot glass filled to the brim with clear liquid; no doubt something strong. Holding it out to the mayor, she asked, “Are you still a bad girl Regina?” her tone more than a little flirtatious. Cruella and Ursula shared suggestive looks.

Steeling her resolve, Regina took the shot. Then she crushed the glass in her fist, thankfully protected by the leather gloves she always wore. “The worst.”

SSS

“I’m sorry, Regina’s doing what?” Emma demanded, following her parents into their loft. They’d only just informed her of the plan, hours after Regina set out to meet with the Villains. Emma was wondering why she couldn’t get in touch with her girlfriend to make dinner plans, and casually asked her parents if they knew where she was.

“She’s going undercover,” David repeated, holding his hands out trying to placate his daughter.

“With someone who can turn into a dragon? Are you out of your minds? Why didn’t you call me?” Her voice was progressively gaining both volume and pitch. She knew she sounded hysterical, and more like a concerned partner than a close friend, but at the moment she couldn’t be bothered to care.

“There wasn’t time. She told us the plan, that was it.”

“You should’ve told me.”

“Why?” Mary Margaret asked, confused – and maybe a bit suspicious. Emma turned wide eyes on her mother. “You really think you could’ve stopped her?”

“I could’ve helped! I was a bailbondsperson, pretending to be someone else was part of my job.

“I know that. But I really think Regina can take care of herself.”

“I hope you’re right. When was she supposed to check in?” And just like that David and Mary Margaret’s defensiveness was gone, and they looked guilty as hell. “Mom, dad, when was she supposed to check in?” Her voice was going back to that panicked place.

Reluctantly, David answered, “About an hour ago.”

SSS

After spending the entire night searching all over town, Emma decided to check back at Granny’s once more. She broke all the traffic laws driving down the one road in Storybrooke to get to the diner. She barely managed to park in a designated space before she was out of the car and meeting Ruby just outside the restaurant.

“Did you find anything in there?” Her voice quavered more than she would have liked, but considering Ruby most likely already knew about her and Regina it didn’t matter. She could lose her shit all she wanted without raising suspicions.

“Well a burnt table, broken bottles, and a very pissed off Granny,” Ruby tried to stifle her laughter, but she loved it when other people were on the receiving end of her granny’s wrath. “Apparently Regina and the witches – great band name, don’t you think? – anyway, they drank the place dry. I’m guessing she won them over.”

She thought this news would help to calm Emma, knowing Regina was safe. She clearly underestimated the Savior’s propensity for paranoia. “Unless that’s exactly what they wanted her to think.”

“Okay, I know you’re worried, but we don’t even know what happened yet.”

“That’s what’s worrying me! She’s not at home, she’s not in her office, she’s not at her vault, she’s not at my parent’s place, she’s not at the library, she’s not at the train tracks – by the way, did you know Storybrooke had a train? Where does it even go? – she’s not at the beach, she’s not at the toll bridge, she’s not here, she’s not –”

“Whoa, okay Emma slow down. There’s no need to fear the worst.”

“I can’t help but think, if the undercover thing worked, if she’s got the situation under control, then why the hell isn’t she back yet? I mean, what would you do if it were Belle in this situation?”

Ruby opened her mouth to respond, but no words would come out. Because truthfully, she had no idea what she would do if Belle went missing with a bunch of dangerous people.

Finally, she offered, “I could try to track her for you?”

Emma looked up at her with wide, hopeful eyes, and Ruby could only hope she’d be able to help.

SSS

David and Mary Margaret were driving through the forest when they got a call from Emma. Apparently Ruby could smell a burning car not far from the road they were on. They assured Emma that they could handle it on their own, and that she should just head back to the station. Reluctantly she agreed, on the condition that her parents would call her the second they found anything.

SSS

Regina couldn’t remember the last time she’d been so hungover. And when the hell did Storybrooke get a train anyway? Like where would that thing even be going? She also failed to see how letting herself get squashed by said train would prove that she’s still a Villain. She was sure when she was the Evil Queen her logic was never that faulty.

Still, it took her a full night of drinking to make up for it. Surely the alcohol in the Enchanted Forest wasn’t nearly as strong as the stuff in this world.

Knowing it would get their attention, Regina decided to wait for either Emma or her parents to show up at the site where they’d had the brilliant idea of burning a police car the night before. Destroying the property of the Charmings and the Savior had definitely earned her a few points in the Villains’ favor.

Sure enough, a few minutes later she heard the sound of tires crunching on the gravel.

“That’s one of the sheriff’s cars. What the hell happened?”

Stepping out of the trees, Regina answered, “Maleficent happened. And that,” she gestured to the still-smoking hunk of metal, “is her idea of a good time.” Her voice came out even lower and more gravely than usual, impossible as that seemed. Her arms were wrapped around her waist

“Regina, are you okay? What happened last night?”

“I had to prove myself; which meant some drinking, some burning, and lots of destruction. Sorry about the car,” she offered half-heartedly. Honestly, they had bigger problems than a ruined vehicle. Besides, they still had another one. And it’s not like Emma ever drove the sheriff’s car anyway. Given the choice she always chose that damn yellow bug. (Cruella had originally suggested destroying that car, and the idea was tempting Regina had to admit, but she knew the thing meant too much to her girlfriend. So she offered up one of the sheriff’s cars instead, claiming it would send a bigger message.) “And you really shouldn’t be here. Next time we have to meet covertly.”

“Next time? You didn’t find out what they’re planning?” David asked incredulously.

“It was one night.” Seriously, these two were not helping her growing migraine. Pushing down her aggravation, she added, “But I did find out they’re hiding something; something incredibly powerful.”

“Well what is it?” Mary Margaret asked like Regina wouldn’t have already told them if she knew. Regina’s head throbbed painfully.

“I don’t know.”

“So the only thing you accomplished was property destruction.”

“I accomplished trust,” she explained, and really it should have been obvious. Seriously, what color is the sky in their world? “Last time I had to come to Maleficent. This time she’ll come to me.”

SSS

“Very interesting plan, bringing us all together.”

The three women had rejoined Rumple at his cabin, and Maleficent wanted answers. Despite the fact that he concocted the plan to bring her back to life, Mal didn’t fully trust the man who once betrayed the three of them to be destroyed by the Churnabog. Of course he was being cryptic as ever.

“My plan’s just beginning,” he assured. “But Regina does present an intriguing possibility.”

“Do you really think she’ll help us?” Mal almost sounded hopeful.

“Heartbreak turned her into a monster once. And now her hearts been broken anew.” Mal raised an eyebrow skeptically. She’d heard all about this Robin Hood, how he was supposedly Regina’s new One True Love. But knowing what she did about Regina’s interests, Mal was finding it all very hard to believe. Still, Rumple would know more than her. “She’s lost another love, and is in great pain.”

“As you and I both know, pain always makes you stronger.”

“Indeed it does. When war hits Storybrooke everyone’s gonna have to pick a side, including Regina.”

“And what war is that?”

“Oh the one we’re about to start. And tonight, we’re gonna throw the first punch.”

SSS

Regina’s vault was trashed. Sighing in misery, she moved several empty bottles from the floor to a shelf, for no reason other than to feel like she was doing something useful. She felt like complete and utter shit. The next time she saw those witches she was going to –

“Sorry we couldn’t stay to clean.” Regina ignored Maleficent, who sounded not the least bit sorry.

“Oh that’s okay,” she bit out. Smirking, she turned to face the other woman. “You need your beauty sleep more than I do.”

“It’s good to see you again, Regina,” Mal stated in a suggestive tone, folding her coat over her arm primly. Regina took a seat on one of the many chests in the room, and Mal moved to stand by her. “Hope you had _fun_ last night.”

“Last night, yes. This morning, no.” Regina did up her coat properly, in response to Mal removing hers. Regina was only willing to take this undercover operation so far.

“Hmm. Maybe I can help, with this world’s version of magic.” Regina bit her cheek. Just because she wouldn’t succumb to the other woman’s charm didn’t mean she could reject her so outright. This situation had to be handled with precision.

Needless to say she was beyond embarrassed when Mal held out two small white pills, and was even more grateful to herself for holding her tongue.

“Don’t worry, they’re not poison,” the blonde assured, mistaking the reason for Regina’s hesitance. “They’re aspirin. They help with the pain.”

“I know what they are. It’s just you’re not usually nice.” _Unless you want something_ , was the implied ending to that statement.

“Nice has nothing to do with it,” she affirmed, stepping over to Regina’s mirror. “I need you sharp tonight.”

“For what?” Regina demanded, fed up with the charades. “More games?”

“No. No more games,” Mal promised, turning to leave. Regina rose to follow her. “You wanna know why we’re in this town? The fact is, we are after the same thing as you.”

 _What, the banishment of heteronormativity?_ Regina wanted to ask but didn’t. Something told her it was a little more complicated than that. These three women weren’t exactly the activist type.

“The Author.”

It took Regina a minute to compose herself after that one. “How do you know about the Author?”

“Rumpelstiltskin,” she explained like it should’ve been obvious. But how was Regina to expect that man to suddenly start spilling his secrets to everyone he meets? “He spilled the whole story to Cruella back in New York.”

“Well good luck finding him. I’ve been looking for months.”

“But you’ve been going about it all wrong.” Mal slowly approached Regina, her voice turning even more seductive. “What you need are some new allies, with new leads on this Author.”

Cringing internally, Regina moved in even closer to the other woman, lowering her tone suggestively as well. “And these new leads, do they have anything to do with this powerful magic you’re hiding?”

Tilting her head, Mal regarded her ex carefully for a moment, pretending to consider. “Before I let you in on that secret, I’ve got a little job for you.”

SSS

Emma was bursting with energy as she entered the library, followed by her parents and Ruby. Belle nodded at them subtly from the front desk – despite being there being no one else around – indicating that Regina had already arrived.

They moved through the shelves until they were nearly at the back of the building, and then David softly called out, “Hey, we’re here.”

Regina stepped out from behind a shelf, noting the number of people and staring at them incredulously. She avoided one gaze in particular, feeling guilty for not discussing this plan with her before she started it. Instead she turned her outrage on David and Mary Margaret.

“I said we needed to meet covertly. Now I see you’ve brought the entire Charming softball team, and their werewolf mascot?”

Emma leveled Regina with a look that clearly said, _‘Softball? Really? Now who’s embracing the lesbian stereotypes?’_ Regina pointedly did not acknowledge her, though the familiarity did give her comfort. Jesus it had only been a day, but now standing in front of her girlfriend she found she had already been missing her terribly. Regina couldn’t think about what that meant at the moment.

“We were worried about you,” Mary Margaret explained simply while nodding in her daughter’s direction, and Regina softened in spite of herself. For a brief second Regina was concerned that Emma didn’t trust her with Maleficent, before she remembered that the blonde had no idea about their history; something else they would need to discuss at a later time.

She finally acknowledged Emma’s presence, letting her see the guilt and apology in her eyes, even as she said, “Well then worry quickly. I can’t be seen with all of you.” Well that came out a lot more ashamedly than she had intended. Sure they were freaks, but they were her freaks. Whatever, they knew what she meant.

“Regina, listen to me. This is a bad idea,” Emma insisted. “This woman, this dragon, she’s dangerous, and you don’t know the first thing about going undercover.”

“I’m a quick study,” Regina argued. “And Maleficent already told me why they’re here.” Mary Margaret looked stunned, which was interesting considering just that morning she expected Regina to have gathered all the information from this woman. Turning back to Emma, the only useful person here in her opinion, she explained, “Apparently they’re after the Author too. I simply want him to change my fate.”

Confused, Emma asked, “What do they want?”

“They wanna shift the entire balance so that Villains win and Heroes lose. They feel the only way to get their Happy Ending is to destroy yours.”

“Do you think they can find the Author?”

“They have a lead we don’t. And tonight, they want me to help them steal it… whatever _it_ is.”

“I’m telling you, these things never end well.”

Emma and Regina both wished they could have had this conversation in private, to discuss their options and make the decision together as a couple, to really understand where the other person was coming from, but instead they got to have it as a family discussion complete with the pet dog.

“I understand your concern,” Regina acknowledged, like the mature adult she was. “But I’m in.”

Emma had to accept that, because she was also a mature adult who could respect other people’s autonomy. But that didn’t mean she had to sit by and do nothing either.

“Okay, well then I’m in too.”

Regina was stunned into silence; and then, “… What?” Read: _Of all the idiotic, harebrained schemes –_

“I’m gonna stick by you. I’m gonna get your back while you do this.” Read: _If you have to put yourself at risk for our relationship then I’m going to too._

“No, it’s too dangerous.” Read: _I can’t risk losing you._

“I said I’m a part of Operation Mongoose, I’m a part of it.” Read: _I’ve made my decision, just like you’ve made yours._ “You wanted my help; now you’re gonna get it, no matter what it means for both of us.” Read: _You promised we were in this together._

Regina’s Face: _Shit Fuck Dammit._

Emma’s Mouth: “Whatever she has planned tonight, I’ll be there.

Regina had no choice but to accept.

SSS

Maleficent had told Regina to meet under the clock tower later that night. Belle closed up the library, Ruby and the Charmings following her down the street to Granny’s. Emma and Regina snuck out the back to wait until it was time to get into position.

They were sitting in David’s truck parked around the corner. It was the only vehicle of theirs that the Villains wouldn’t recognize when Emma tailed them later. The silence was starting to eat Regina alive.

“Emma, I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you I was doing this.” Regina stared her hands, the concept of apologizing still foreign to her.

Softening, Emma gave her one of her lopsided smiles. “I get it, there wasn’t time. I was just worried about you.” She reached out slowly and took one of Regina’s hands in one of hers.

“Well, you shouldn’t have; I can handle Maleficent.” Emma’s smile was indulgent now, which would have set Regina’s teeth on edge if she didn’t have something pressing on her mind. “Actually, I wanted to talk to you about that; my history with her.” Puzzled, Emma looked at Regina and waited for her to continue.

Sighing, Regina decided to dive into her story.

“Well, it was during my marriage to Leopold. I was planning my revenge on your mother,” Regina paused, acknowledging the absurdity of that statement. “And I was unsatisfied with Rumple’s teaching. I had been reading Maleficent’s book –”

“Maleficent wrote a book?”

Glaring at Emma for the interruption, Regina waited until the blonde snapped her mouth shut before continuing.

“I had been reading her book, and decided I would rather learn from her. So Rumple poofed me away to her castle…”

_“Hello? Maleficent?” a young, timid Regina called out to the seemingly empty castle, clutching the sorceress’s book close to her chest. “I’ve been studying magic – beginner stuff – but I thought, maybe, perhaps you can teach me?”_

_“Why don’t you show me what you’ve learned,” a disembodied voice suggested, echoing throughout the hall and startling poor Regina. “Light that fireplace.”_

_Terrified of everything, the young woman moved slowly over to said fireplace. Still clutching the book in one arm, she held out her other hand and begged it to create fire. “Come on. Come on!” Her meek little flame jumped over to the logs and set them ablaze. The young queen looked beyond pleased with herself._

_“That’s pathetic,” the same voice from before stated, now coming from right beside her. Regina whipped her head around, taking in the hot mess before her. “But it’ll do.” Her words were slurred, her clothes were in tatters, and her hair was out of control. Definitely not what Regina had in mind for a teacher. Taking a seat in front of the fire, Maleficent sight, “Ah, that feels nice. I haven’t had a proper fire in… years.” With that she pulled a pin out of a bottle on the table beside her and stuck the point into her thumb._

_“What’s that?”_

_Staring at Regina with half-lidded eyes, Maleficent explained, “You won’t read about this in any spell book.” She dropped the needle back into the bottle, then picked the whole thing up to show her. “A single drop of sleeping curse, mixed with sea water, and toadstool. Takes the edge off.” Regina’s brow furrowed in disappointment. Maleficent laughed. “What’s a matter, dear? I’m not everything you expected?”_

_“What happened to you?”_

_“A rose. A Briar Rose.”_

_“The one you put under a sleeping curse,” Regina stated with excitement, clearly not seeing the direction this conversation was headed._

_“Until King Stefan The Square Jawed undid all my work with True Love’s Kiss. But you know what?” She pricked her thumb again. “I don’t even care anymore.”_

_Unsettled, Regina stepped forward, holding out her book. “The Maleficent I-I read about, she would never just give up. Y-you need to remember who you really are.”_

_Maleficent was out of her seat and in Regina’s face in a second. She stalked forward, Regina stumbling backwards helplessly. “_ That _Maleficent had a foul temper and if you insulted her she’d turn into a dragon and eat your flesh!” She grabbed Regina’s throat with one hand and held her very close. Regina gasped in surprise. Maleficent stared into wide brown eyes for a second, then lowered her head regretfully. “It’s a good thing for you I already had breakfast.” She pulled back slowly. Trying to sound threatening, but mostly sounding said, she exclaimed, “Take your dusty book and get out of my castle.”_

“I really thought she was going to kiss me.”

Emma’s eyebrows rose so high they blended into her hairline. “Did she?”

Pausing, Regina gave Emma a significant look. “Not then.”

_Regina returned only an hour later with the news that Briar Rose’s daughter was getting married, slamming the silver-plated invitation down on Maleficent’s end table and exclaiming, “A whole new generation is getting their Happy Ending while you sit up here and rot!”_

_“And why in the hell do you care so much?”_

_Now that the adrenaline of her tirade had worn off, Regina was much less confident with her words. “B-because if… someone as powerful as you can’t get their revenge… that means I never will.”_

_Rising to her feel, Maleficent once again invaded Regina’s personal space; only this time, instead of grabbing her by the neck, she gently reached out and touched a hand to her chin. Regina was breathless._

_“So, you’ve had someone taken from you too.”_

_“Yes. And the girl who’s responsible lives and breathes. And I_ still _don’t have my revenge.”_

_“Do you want some advice from me? Maleficent asked tenderly. Regina clutched desperately at the other woman’s arm and nodded eagerly. “Give up. Find another hobby.” And with that she turned away and headed back to her chair._

_“No.” Regina grabbed the wedding invitation once more. “Isn’t this a reason to get up? To turn back into a dragon? To fight?”_

_“I can’t.”_

_“Doesn’t this make your blood boil?”_

_“Did you hear me, stupid girl? I can’t! I can’t… turn into a dragon anymore. I lost the fire a long time ago.”_

_Instead of discouraging her, this information only fueled Regina’s determination. “Then let’s get that fire back.” Regina’s smirk contained a wealth of implications, and Mal could only raise her eyebrow suggestively. This day suddenly, finally, had just become much more interesting._

“Needless to say, we didn’t exactly have a healthy relationship.”

“Yeah, I’ll say,” Emma muttered.

_After redressing – Regina in the same traveling clothes as before, Mal in her former resplendent costume complete with her dragon horned crown from long ago – Regina took them to a tree that the dragon had set fire to years past; a tree that burned still. That was how Maleficent would get her fire back, Regina was sure of it._

_Mal approached the tree uncertainly, dressed in her former dragon garb. Standing several yards away from the tree, Maleficent used her magic to absorb the flames, fighting with everything she had to pull them in. The sheer force of its power had her doubled over, gasping for breath._

_Regina rushed to her side, equal parts concerned and excited. Not to mention more than a bit turned on by the impressive display of magic. “Did it work?”_

_“I’m not sure,” Mal answered, voice wavering as she continued her ragged breaths._

_The sound of approaching hooves had Regina straightening and turning to face the approaching intruders. “We’re about to find out. Look.”_

_Slowly, Maleficent rose as her enemy drew closer. “Hello Stefan.”_

“… And then what happened?” Emma was on the edge of her seat. Regina didn’t think it was possible for anyone to be more enthralled by their significant other’s adventures with their ex than Emma was at that moment.

Mouth gaping for a few seconds at Emma’s unexpected reaction, Regina simply stated, “It didn’t work.

_Regina and Maleficent were being marched back to the King’s castle, most likely to be tossed in the dungeon and left to rot. Well, not if Regina had anything to say about it._

_Mal looked over at the rustling of the younger woman’s hands, then to her face screwed up in concentration._

_“What are you doing?” she muttered reproachfully. From what she’d seen before of Regina’s pitiful attempts at magic, she decided that any try for escape on her part would prove only to add to their troubles._

_“I’m not going out like this,” Regina answered, determined._

_“You’re going to fight?” Her tone was almost mocking. “There’s too many of them.”_

_“I guess we’ll have to hope my fireballs have improved.” Meaning hopefully their earlier dalliance had also given Regina the spark she needed._

_Maleficent wasn’t so sure. “You_ can’t _defeat them.”_

_Regina scoffed. “You’re right. Not without a dragon’s help,” she pointed out._

_Maleficent stopped just as Regina’s ropes finally caught fire. The brunette smirked over to her, both spinning around in unison to face their captors._

_Regina’s fireballs certainly had improved… For a moment at least. After incapacitating one man, her magic failed her. Mal looked on worriedly as King Stefan gave the order. “Kill her!”_

_It seemed that was all the prompting she needed. Determined to protect her new_ friend, _Mal was finally reconnected with her dragon. She was barely in the air when Stefan called for his men to retreat._

_Regina grinned wickedly up at the giant beast circling the field. “Look who’s back.”_

“And then we went to Stefan’s castle where she put Aurora under the sleeping curse and well, you know the rest.” Emma sat there, stunned. “Do you, do you have any questions?”

“I mean, a couple. Like, I thought Aurora said she was only asleep for a year… Well, plus the twenty-eight year curse. And how come it took Phillip and Mulan so long to find her if you guys just left her in her own castle? Also why –?”

“I meant about me and Maleficent,” Regina clarified, bemused.

“Oh. Um, no? I mean everyone has a past, I get it.” And she really did. Regina could see it, in her face, in her body language; heard it in her voice. So she spent all day feeling guilty for nothing?

(Well okay, so there was the little fact of her disappearing without a trace leaving Emma to worry about her, but other than that.)

“Oh. Okay. Well good. Because I’ve got to go.” Pressing a kiss to Emma’s cheek, Regina got out of the truck and walked over to the front door of the library, the wind whipping her hair around fabulously.

“Wait, you didn’t answer my questions!” Emma closed her mouth with a huff, wondering if she would ever get answers to the questions she had about the Enchanted Forest and just when exactly everything took place.

SSS

Regina leaned, casually but alert, against the wall of the library. The wind tonight, much like the night before, was blowing wildly. She looked like a supermodel. She turned her head cautiously in Emma’s direction – Emma was drumming her fingers against the steering wheel, making Regina wish she was still over there so she could hold her girlfriend’s hands and calm her worries – lifting her head in a slow nod before turning back to the street. Any minute now.

Emma whipped her head around not a second after Regina, having been paying the woman all of her attention.

Cruella’s car was cruising down the street, but when it pulled to a stop in front of Regina and the doors opened there was no one behind the wheel; no one in the car at all.

“Ready to take a drive?” a low, sultry voice wondered from behind Regina, causing the woman to turn sharply. Maleficent seemed to have appeared out of nowhere, which wasn’t out of the realm of possibility. Regina should have been expecting it.

Regina smirked at the other woman for a long moment, taking the time to compose herself after the shock of the sudden appearance. “You want _me_ to get in _that_?”

“Cruella enchanted it to drive itself. Or you could take the wheel if you prefer.”

 _I thought she only had power over animals_ , Regina wanted to point out but didn’t. It wouldn’t do her any good to question these women now, not when they were finally starting to trust her. She also wanted to comment on Maleficent’s remarkable ability to learn so quickly everything about this world, considering she spent twenty-eight years locked up as a dragon – not to mention another one to four years as a pile of ash – under the very same library they were standing in front of.

“Yes I’d very much prefer. Where are the other two?”

“Don’t worry about them; it’s just you and me tonight. Like old times.” The inflection in her ex’s voice made Regina glad she had refused her girlfriend’s attempts to wire her. No need for her to be even more distracted and uncomfortable.

Smile only slightly uncertain, Regina pushed away from the library and moved towards the car.

SSS

Belle and Will were on a fake date at Granny’s where she was attempting to show her friend the wonders of chocolate cake, Ruby popping over whenever Granny was too busy to watch her like a hawk. Just another typical date night. And then Hook slid into their booth, rather aggressively, next to Will. The Knave turned to his boyfriend with a look of confusion. They didn’t have plans to meet up until after Ruby took Belle home, when Granny was sound asleep and she could slip away undeterred.

“Well look at which two survivors found a dingy together,” he mumbled, even less coherent than usual. Seriously, what the hell was he on about? “I do hope I’m not interrupting.”

Will and Killian had an agreement not to be seen in public together. The only interaction they’d had prior to the Spell of Shattered Sexuality was the time the pirate beat him up thinking he was under the influence of an evil hand. And no one in town even knew about that. It would have been suspicious if they started spending time together.

So why did he suddenly decide to show up at date night?

“Uh, Killian, this is, this is Will.” Someone should pretend to introduce them, right? But they were still staring each other down – Will with confusion, and Killian seemingly with… anger? – so Belle added for the eavesdropping gossips at the other tables, “Have the two of you met?”

“That we have, yeah,” Will played along.

“Ah,” Belle nodded.

“Look, before you give into your pugilistic urges,” Will said, directing the words at Hook. “Let’s take this outside away from the lady, shall we?”

“And you _clearly_ don’t get along.” So all the nosy citizens of Storybrooke can get back to their burgers and beers; nothing gay here.

“As much as I’d enjoy bloodying you again,” Okay, Belle did _not_ need to know what those two got up to in private. She looked around for Ruby, hoping for a rescue from this conversation, but her girlfriend was stuck at a particularly indecisive table and could only offer a shrug. “I’m here for Belle.” Wait, what? “We need to talk, in private.”

SSS

Emma inconspicuously tailed Cruella’s car all the way to Marco’s house while also consulting her phone, set up to track Regina’s. Parked a few houses down, Emma watched her girlfriend get out of the lavish vehicle and make her way inside Marco’s workshop. An uncomfortable feeling settled in her stomach. Carefully Emma stepped out of the truck and snuck around the back of the houses, staying out of Maleficent’s sight. She made it to the side door just in time to see Regina cast a sleeping curse over Marco and Pinocchio. Worried and confused, Emma opened the door and whispered, “Regina,” as the woman turned to face her.

“Emma! What are you doing here?” There were so many reasons the blonde shouldn’t be there with her, and yet Regina couldn’t help but feel a bit relieved to see her face.

“I’ve been watching you. I saw you casting a sleeping spell and my gut said something was wrong.”

“Well it will be if you don’t get out of here!”

“Not until you tell me what Maleficent has you in here doing!”

Sighing in defeat – and just a tad bit or relief at not having to make this decision alone – Regina explained, “They’re after Pinocchio.”

“I told you these things never end well! We’ll have to do this quickly. Let’s take him out the back and then find a safe place.”

And Regina was touched that Emma immediately and with no hesitation assumed Regina would do the right thing. She wondered if she was about to break that trust.

“One little snafu and you’re ready to pack up? What happens when Mal realizes and lets loose her inner dragon?”

“This is a child we are talking about, Regina. It’s too big a risk.”

“Not if I’m there to keep him safe. If they try to harm him I’ll stop them and fight my way out.”

But Emma didn’t want her to have to fight her way out. She didn’t want her to go back at all, with the kid or without. This whole thing was getting completely out of hand.

“Three of them! One of you!”

“I know you think I’m in over my head, but I’ve got this. You don’t know them like I do.”

“Well then enlighten me, because ever since they came to town my Super Power’s been going haywire; like everyone, including my own parents, is keeping something from me.”

Regina wanted to tell her, she really did. It was eating her alive not to tell Emma the truth about her parents, but she couldn’t. On a selfish level she wanted to prove to Snow White that she could keep a secret, no matter how she was persuaded to divulge it. But also she knew that this was something Emma needed to hear from her parents. She could deal with any hurt and blame Emma placed on her when she inevitably learned the truth, but if she had any hope of forgiving her parents the truth would have to come from them.

That didn’t mean Regina didn’t feel sick to her stomach about it.

She steeled herself against it and said, “Emma, the only ones keeping secrets are Maleficent and her friends.”

The Savior pursed her lips, her brows furrowed in confusion. Because her Super Power may not be perfect, but she always knew when Regina was lying. And this time she was.

“They’ve taken a page out of the Heroes’ playbook,” Regina continued, knowing that Emma knew, but hoping the urgency of the mission would distract her, at least for a little while. “They’re working together, which means we have to take a page out of theirs and break some rules.”

Defeated, Emma could do nothing but agree. “I’ll be right on your tail. I see anything I don’t like and I will come in blazing.”

Relieved, worried terrified, Regina nodded her acceptance.

Emma helped Regina wrap the boy in a tarp on the ground. As her girlfriend made to leave, Emma reached out and touched her arm. “Please be careful?”

Swallowing past the lump in her throat, Regina nodded once more, leaning over to kiss her girlfriend before carrying the boy out to Cruella’s waiting car. She placed him gently in the backseat, feeling terrible about the entire situation.

“It’s good to have you back,” Mal commented when Regina rose from the backseat. Regina’s answering smirk was weak, but enough to satisfy the dragon as she slid into the passenger’s seat. Regina pulled her phone out of her pocket, staring at it uncertainly, wondering how many times she could betray Emma’s trust in order to protect her.

SSS

Hook stopped by the pawn shop later that night to swear Belle to secrecy about their previous conversation, and the excursion it had led to.

“I’m guessing that’s a gift from your admirer, Will,” Hook noted, gesturing to the red rose on the counter.

Furrowing her brows in confusion, Belle decided he must be joking. “Oh Killian, you’re too funny. Have a good night.”

And now it was his turn to be confused, but he took the hint and left the shop, only to pause on the sidewalk and peer in through the window at Belle. She was giggling with someone on the phone, presumably Will, and it made his blood boil.

“Oy,” came a voice from his left that truly stumped the pirate, because that voice was supposedly on the phone talking to Belle at the very same moment. “What was all that about? Back at the diner?”

“Uh… Sorry?”

“No worries. Are we still on for later then?”

“Um, yes, of course?”

“Excellent. See you then.”

If Hook hadn’t been completely floored before that conversation, the kiss Will Scarlet pulled him into after it had certainly done the job. Hook waited until the man was completely out of sight before slipping into the alley next to the shop and releasing the disguise to reveal Rumpelstiltskin in Hook’s place.

What the hell was happening in this town?

SSS

Emma waited in the workshop for a few minutes after Regina left, but the name on her phone hadn’t moved. Seriously, how long did it take to stuff a kid in a car and drive off?

“Come on, what’s the hold up? Why aren’t you ..?” She tapped at her phone impatiently, but the screen hadn’t frozen. The little dot that represented Regina’s phone blinked and beeped rhythmically. That could only mean one thing.

“No!”

Emma was on her feet and out the door in a flash. Outside, Cruella’s car was nowhere in sight. Glancing down at her feet, Emma spotted the Mayor’s blackberry.

“No.”

She bent over to pick it up. On the screen Regina had typed out a blank text: I GOT THIS

“Regina, what are you doing?”

SSS

 


	4. Poor Homosexual Soul

SSS

If Emma was freaking out yesterday morning, there weren’t words to describe what she was experiencing the morning after Regina ditched her, leaving with an unconscious child and a morally ambiguous dragon lady. And, much like the night before, Emma ran around town frantically checking every possible location Regina could have been taken to. This included but was not limited to: her mansion, her office, her vault, Granny’s, the Charming loft, the library, the train tracks – the existence of which still baffled her – the beach, the toll bridge. Her parents and Ruby had joined in her search, but considering Regina had left in a car, the wolf was having difficulty picking up her scent. Currently they were wondering aimlessly along a dirt road that cut through the heart of Storybrooke’s forest.

“It’s okay, Emma. As long as he’s with Regina, Pinocchio will be alright.” And as usual, her mother failed to grasp the true reason behind Emma’s emotions. Granted, she could hardly be blamed, being unaware of Emma’s current relationship status with the former Evil Queen and all. Still, she should have known that Emma’s worry, at least in part, stemmed from the danger her perceived friend had placed herself in. Oh well. At least Mary Margaret wasn’t blaming Regina for kidnapping the child. That was a step in the right direction, right?

“You don’t know that,” Emma argued. “I just wish I hadn’t let her ditch me.” Only Ruby picked up the strict _there-will-be-words-about-this_ later tone in the blonde’s voice. David and Mary Margaret were blissfully unaware of the domesticity Emma exuded when she talked about Regina.

“Emma, you couldn’t have known she’d drop the phone,” Ruby pointed out, understanding at least partially what the Savior must be feeling. She could only imagine if Belle were putting herself in that kind of danger.

“Yea, but I let her talk me into thinking _kidnapping him_ was a good idea.” Ruby offered her a look of sympathy. The things we do for love, right? “If anything happens to that kid it’s my fault.”

Coming to a fork in the road, David crouched to the ground while Ruby sniffed the air halfheartedly. “Yeah the tracks end here. Looks like the rain washed them away.”

“Gee, if only we had someone who could do magic and use a locater spell,” Ruby lamented sarcastically.

Emma felt like a complete idiot for not having thought of it sooner. There were a number of Regina’s things she had on her that would’ve worked for the spell. She had her phone, she had her leather gloves that she borrowed several days earlier and never got around to returning, hell she even had herself! She was completely Regina’s, and dammit if her parents found out! Her girlfriend was missing!

“We may not need one.” Emma spun to face her mother, wild plans of casting a locater spell on herself to find Regina delayed. “Look.” She nodded off in the distance, and they all turned to see what it was.

A cloud of black and purple smoke was swirling unnaturally towards them. Was it too much to hope Regina’s poofing had a slow-mo setting? Yes it was.

The cloud approached their group, aimed at Emma and Mary Margaret. At the last second it latched on to the raven-haired woman.

Everyone stared at her expectantly as she blinked and looked around, confused. Taking in Emma standing next to her, Regina cursed inwardly. If she wasn’t in her girlfriend – ahem – that must have meant…

“Mary Margaret!” David said, alarmed.

“What the hell was that?” Emma asked, clearly not grasping the situation. “Are you okay?”

“I have to make this quick. We don’t have much time.” Hearing her girlfriend’s voice spoken from her mother’s mouth, Emma seriously thought she might hurl.

“Regina?” David wondered like this was actually the strangest thing to ever happen to them.

Regina stared at him blankly for a second before turning her attention to the only competent Charming in the group. “Pinocchio’s fine,” she reassured her girlfriend before the woman could even ask.

The typical warm feeling Emma got when she and Regina were able to communicate without words was dampened by the fact that it came from the body of her mother. With all the shit she’d dealt with in her life, Emma had never seriously considered therapy like she did in that moment.

“He’s back to his old self. Or, older self.”

“August,” Emma stated, shocked.

“But there’s something else you need to know.” At this Regina-Margaret turned to face the rest of the group. “Gold is here.” She gave them a moment to take in that grim news. Emma spared a glance for Ruby, whose face was set hard with anger. “We’re holed up in his cabin. And he’s in town for more than just the author, but he won’t tell me why. Which means whatever it is he’s planning, it’s _bad_.”

And then Mary Margaret’s body doubled over like it had been punched in the stomach, and they realized that Regina had left. David ran over to support his wife as Ruby stated, “So the Dark One’s back.”

“Yeah,” Emma breathed out, still processing everything that had happened in the last minute. Sending a regretful look to the werewolf, Emma added, “There’s only one person who could help us drive him back out.”

SSS

“He- he’s here?” Belle asked after her girlfriend told her what they’d uncovered. Ruby reached out and touched Belle’s arm in the most publicly platonic show of comfort she could offer. “But that’s- that’s impossible.”

“Well did you really think he’d stay away?” Mary Margaret asked, unhelpfully.

Emma couldn’t wait anymore. “The dagger. You need to hand it over so we can stop this fight before it starts.

“That dagger? I –” Belle looked over at Hook, who had shown up with Will earlier that morning to help her inventory the shop. Will was working in the back while Hook helped her up front when the Heroes had arrived. “I don’t have the dagger. Killian does.”

Emma whirled on him in disbelief. Why the hell would he have the dagger? The others turned to face him as well, waiting for an explanation. He looked back at them all, dumbfounded.

“Who, me? Well I haven’t seen that cursed blade since you commanded the Crocodile to leave the first time.”

“But you- you took it from me last night, to hide it where no one could find it.”

“After the lifetimes I spent searching for a way to destroy the Dark One, I’m pretty certain I’d remember holding that dagger in my hand.”

Stupefied, Belle asked, “Okay well if I didn’t give it to you then who –?”

“You gave it to Gold,” Emma realized, lips pursed tight. She couldn’t help but be disappointed in the librarian. Ruby sent Emma a warning glare. “Disguised as you,” she concluded, turning back to Hook. “He’s back, and so is his power.” That fact should have been obvious to all of them, but everyone else seemed shocked by the revelation.

“Even when I didn’t think he could deceive me anymore, he found a way.” Ruby’s hand, having never left Belle’s arm, slid down to hold her hand. They both ignored the suspicious looks from David and Mary Margaret. Belle was sad and Ruby was going to be there for her.

“Banishment was too good for that monster,” Ruby declared, addressing the group even as her eyes remained fixed on Belle’s downturned face. “We should’ve driven that dagger through his heart when we had the chance.”

Belle’s head snapped up. “Then your name would be written across it,” she stated reproachfully.

“A small price to pay to ensure that man wouldn’t come back again.”

“I know you’re angry,” Emma said, moving to stand behind the werewolf’s shoulder. “But we defeated him before and we’ll do it again.”

“Yeah, but the question is how,” Mary Margaret pointed out. “We don’t even know what he’s planning.”

“First we save August,” David argued.

“Yeah, you do that. I’ll find out the Dark One’s secret,” Hook promised.

“How are you gonna do that?”

Sucking in a breath, Hook explained, “The Sea Witch, Ursula. Remember when I said I had a past with her?” he asked Emma. “Now’s the time to use it.”

“How?”

“By taking a page out of your book, Swan. I’m gonna return her Happy Ending.”

“Can you really do that?” she asked skeptically.

“Aye,” he affirmed. “Because I’m the one who took it from her in the first place.”

Dun dun dun!

SSS

Regina took a seat next to the newly returned August Booth, checking to make sure the other women were otherwise occupied. Satisfied, she pulled out the ripped and crumpled page, haphazardly pulling it open to reveal the unfortunate image imprinted on its surface.

“What’s that?” he wondered, only partially succeeding in hiding his curiosity underneath a snarky demeanor. “More kindling?”

Regina paused in her futzing with the paper to send him a blank look. Okay so she kind of deserved that, having lit the fire to intimidate the poor man, but what choice did she have? In her own way, she was as helpless as him.

“This page appeared to someone very… important to me.” She tried not to gag on her own words.

“Robin Hood,” August stated, not needing to phrase it as a question. Regina winced at the automatic assumption, which in this case happened to be correct. Still, the fact that everyone in this town still believed that oaf was her soulmate…

“How do _you_ know about Robin Hood?”

“Just because _the boy_ doesn’t remember being me doesn’t mean I don’t remember being _the boy_.” Regina sneered at that truly godawful sentence. Who in their right mind would actually say something like that?

“Well you’re right. Robin did find it. But this page, it depicts something that didn’t happen.” Thank God, Regina added to herself. “And I think you know more than you’re saying.” August stared at it curiously.

Suddenly Ursula stood from her perch by the window.

“What’s the matter, darling?” Cruella asked, noting her partner’s movement. “Is something out there?” Regina moved to pull the cloth over August’s mouth.

“It’s nothing,” Ursula assured, though her voice said otherwise. “I’m just gonna go stretch my tentacles.”

SSS

Not an hour later Hook was leading Ursula into Mr. Gold’s Pawn Shop, finding Belle and Will chatting at one of the counters.

“Do hope we’re not interrupting, but we need the thief’s assistance.”

Now Hook could very well have been acting standoffish for Ursula’s sake; she didn’t know about their arrangement, and she definitely couldn’t be trusted to keep it a secret if she did. But just to be safe, Belle asked, “And how do I know that you’re really Killian?” Will nodded his agreement, still upset that he had actually kissed – eugh, no, he shuddered at the thought.

“Oh now you decide to question my identity?” _Not before, when my boyfriend was kissing your ex-husband?_ Was the unspoken addendum.

Belle gasped in offense.

“If he were the Dark One, Loverboy here would already be dead,” Ursula pointed out. Everyone else in the room panicked at what they thought the insinuation was – he was coming after Will for kissing him – until they realized she meant because he was supposedly dating Belle. Well if someone had to die for dating her, better Will than Ruby. Sorry Killian.

“Yeah, she’s got a point there,” Will agreed, putting his acting skills to good use. “But why should I help you?” he asked Hook, just for show. Of course he was going to help him.

“Because, for once we want the same thing.” There Hook paused suggestively. Both men fought the urge to smirk. Sobering, he clarified, “The Dark One gone. The key to making that happen is in here.” Rifling through the bag slung over his shoulder, the pirate produced a tiny ship in a bottle. Will leaned over to get a closer look.

“Right. That your ship, is it?” Hook nodded in affirmation. “Bit small init?” Will teased.

“Careful mate,” Hook warned seriously. “It’s unwise to insult the size of a pirate’s ship.” Belle stifled her laughter at their ridiculousness. Will smirked at his boyfriend’s sensitivity. “Now you’ve spent more time in Wonderland than anyone I know. You must have something that can restore it.”

Will pretended to appraise Hook’s little ship for another moment. “You’re in luck. I think I might have just what you need.” Belle nearly groaned at the insinuation. Could these two be any more obvious?

SSS

_Dreamland Right This Second_

_Regina walks down a forest path, staring at the fake picture of her and Robin. Try as she might, she just can’t make any clues appear on the page. The image is utterly useless._

_She pauses, hearing a rustling up ahead, followed by a shout of her name in a voice that never fails to make her cringe._

_“Robin?”_

_The scruffy man appears on the foggy trail just ahead. He runs toward her… excitedly? “Regina!” he calls again._

_“Robin,” she states awkwardly. “I don’t understand. How did you get here?”_

_“It doesn’t matter. The only thing that matters is I’m here with you now.” He leans in, breathing heavily in her face. She pulls away, but before he can question her rejection movement catches their attention in their peripheral._

_“Someone’s watching.”_

_Whipping around, Regina’s eyes widen in shock and confusion. “What the hell are you doing here?”_

_The Evil Queen marches straight for them, hand raised to produce a searing flame. “Get. Away. From him!” She sends the fireball through the space between them, and just as it’s about to burn them both alive –_

Regina awoke with a start, jolting up in her chair as though she had actually been burned. The crackling of the fireplace immediately caught her attention, but none of the flames had gone rogue.

From her perch in the corner of the cabin, Mal stated dryly, “If you’re having trouble sleeping, I have something that might help.”

Trying to match her tone, but only managing to sound breathless with latent fear, Regina replied, “I’m fine, thank you.” But what did it mean?

SSS

Emma jumped from the truck the second David put it in park. They had come to a small bridge crossing a creek. “Gold’s cabin’s up ahead. We go on foot from here.” David crinkled his forehead in confusion, wondering why Emma was explaining something they all already knew.

“Anything from Hook? Do you think he’s managed to turn Ursula yet?” Mary Margaret asked, jogging to keep up with her daughter. Poor girl was in such a rush to get to August. Though Mary Margaret regretted that things didn’t work out between Emma and the handsome pirate, August was such a nice young man. It wasn’t his fault his father lied to them and sent him through the wardrobe to look after baby Emma, only to abandon her a few days later… wait.

“If she hasn’t turned him,” David answered.

Emma nearly snorted out a laugh, knowing that neither Hook nor Ursula was interested in _turning_ on another. “Really? We’re thinking that now?” Though Emma spoke more to herself, the response worked just as well in the context of her parents’ conversation. She needed to focus. Now was not the time for inside queer jokes. They were on a mission.

“Well he kinda went to a dark place this morning,” he pointed out.

“Can you blame him?” Emma’s eyes hardened into a glare, thinking of Regina in the lion’s den that very second. “If Gold did to me what he did to Hook I’d wanna shove that dagger through his heart too.”

“Emma, that’s not you,” Mary Margaret stated, fearful of this dark side of Emma; especially knowing darkness and _other_ bad behaviors went hand in hand. “You’re not –”

“It’s also not Hook,” Emma reassured, naively. There was actually much evidence to the contrary that that sort of dark and violent reaction was exactly Hook. But they were friends, kind of, and Emma believed the best in him. “Relax. I’m just saying I understood where he was coming from.” When her parents continued to stand there, staring at her like she’d just sprouted a second head, she added, “Come on. Gold might not hurt a kid, but August? Who knows what he’ll do to him.”

At the mention of Emma’s newest True Love – at least according to her mother – David and Mary Margaret took off after their daughter in the direction of Gold’s cabin. They would rescue that man, and then everything would be okay.

SSS

It didn’t take much for Gold to get some information out of the puppet, and soon he, Mal, and Regina were searching the Sorcerer’s mansion for any sign of a door the Author might be trapped behind, leaving Cruella to babysit their man-child captive. After an entire afternoon spent scouring every nook and cranny of the mansion, while Regina secretly sabotaged them whenever the opportunity presented itself, Gold finally admitted defeat. The three of them stormed down the driveway, intent on returning to the cabin to try an even more forceful approach with August. (Regina was panicking trying to find a solution to the latest mess she’d ended up in.)

“Well that was a royal waste of time,” Mal griped.

“The door may not be in the Sorcerer’s mansion, but it’s somewhere in Storybrooke. We will find it,” Gold assured. The sound of tires on wet gravel reached their ears, announcing the arrival of Cruella’s black and white Zimmer. This time, the woman was driving it herself; Regina noted that the car seemed to drive itself better than its owner ever did, as the vehicle nearly ran the trio over before turning at the last possible second, screeching to a halt not a yard from them.

Cruella flew from her vehicle in a rage.

“What are you doing here?” Gold asked in disbelief. “Where’s August?”

“They rescued him; the Heroes.” Regina tried not to appear too suspicious. She did not succeed. Thankfully the others were too busy fighting amongst themselves to notice.

“You had one simple task,” Gold reprimanded.

“It wasn’t my fault!” she argued. Then, her voice simmering with anger, “We have a mole.”

“Who would be foolish enough to cross us?” Mal asked, though if she looked around there was really only one obvious answer. Luckily, Cruella had come up with something much less believable.

“I know exactly who.” She turned to look at Regina. “Ursula.” The former Evil Queen breathed a sigh of relief. “She sold us out for a reunion with Daddy Dearest.”

For some reason Gold accepted this with no questions asked. “Alright, we may have lost our informant, but we still have his information.” Turning to Regina he ordered, “Bring us the illustration of the door. Maybe there’s something in it the puppet missed.”

Looking nervous as hell, Regina simply nodded at his request.

SSS

Mary Margaret was still recovering from the light tentacle play she unwittingly took part in at the cabin. Emma offered to stay at the apartment with baby Neal while her parents had a night for themselves at Granny’s; first the diner, then the inn. Emma shuddered, forcing those thoughts from her brain. She was just getting some hot chocolate ready for her, Henry, and their unconscious guest when the door to the apartment opened. Emma snapped her head up, only to see Regina poking her head in. Noticing that August was asleep and Henry was reading, the woman crept slowly into the loft.

“We’re lucky he’s okay.”

“It wasn’t luck,” Emma disagreed. “You got us that message. Thank you.”

Regina opened her mouth to respond, but the pressure of the last few days weighed heavily on her now that she had a moment to relax. Instead she let out a sigh and leaned heavily against the counter across from Emma.

Choosing to ignore the pressing matter at hand, Regina instead chose an alternate topic for discussion, one that was no less troublesome in her mind. “I need your help with something.”

“What is it?” Emma asked, her attention immediately focused entirely on her girlfriend.

“I had a dream today,” Regina started. “Robin Hood came back. He tried to kiss me.” Both women winced at the visual. “But then _I_ – the Evil Queen – showed up, with a fireball in her hand.”

Smiling in relief that this wasn’t something life or death they were talking about, or even anything Emma needed to worry about on a personal level, she explained, “I may not be Archie, but it sounds like you’re afraid of the villain you used to be, the one you don’t want to become again.”

“No, I don’t think that’s it,” Regina disagreed. Emma pouted. If she didn’t want her advice why did she ask for it in the first place? “In my dream, I don’t think the Evil Queen was there to hurt me or Robin. I think she was there to protect me, from whatever force keeps trying to push us together.”

Pausing for a moment to think, Emma finally suggested, “Maybe you should check up on him.” At Regina’s disapproving look the blonde added, “Maybe you’re worried about him, like you feel responsible for his well-being. After all he’s still so new to this world, and you sent him off to one of the biggest cities in the world – for his own good, I know,” Emma hurried to add when it looked like Regina was about to interrupt. “Still, maybe talking to him, knowing he’s doing okay, would put your mind at ease.”

Dammit, she was right. As much as Regina didn’t want to care, wanted to forget about that unfortunate period of her life where she thought that boring oaf of a man was her only chance for True Love, she knew that she did feel somewhat responsible for him. She knew getting in touch with him to make sure everything was going okay would be the right thing to do. Why did being one of the good guys have to be so trying? “You used to track people for a living. Can, can you get me a phone number, a way to contact him, anything?”

“Yeah,” Emma readily agreed, happy to help Regina in anyway. “Yeah, I can do that.” Regina gave her one of those special smiles that she reserved only for Emma; the loving, adoring eyes and the soft curve of her lips. It turned Emma’s insides into a fluttering mess and gave her a toothache from the sweetness of it.

“Mom!” Henry cried. Both women turned to face him and noticed August waking up. Emma rushed over to check on him while Regina hung back, knowing the man wouldn’t exactly welcome her presence.

Sure enough, as soon as his eyes landed on Regina they were stuck on her like glue. “What is _she_ doing here?” he asked of Emma.

Emma looked at Regina curiously for a second, before remembering the other woman was kind of the whole reason he was in this mess to begin with and as far as he knew she was working with the other side. Smiling reassuringly at him, Emma answered, “It’s okay, I promise.” August nodded, not entirely convinced but trusting Emma nonetheless.

At his acceptance Regina crouched down between her son and girlfriend so she could talk to him. “August, we need to talk about how I’m going to keep up my cover with Gold.” He looked from Regina to Emma suspiciously. “The only reason I was able to come here,” she pulled out the illustration of the door from Henry’s pile of things, “is because they think I’m stealing this page. We didn’t find the door at the Sorcerer’s mansion.”

Smirking to himself, August explained, “That’s because it’s not there.”

“What?” Henry asked, his voice entirely too deep for either woman’s liking.

“But you said you didn’t know where it was,” Regina pointed out, confused. “And your nose didn’t grow.”

My nose didn’t grow because I wasn’t lying. When Gold asked me I didn’t know where the door was, because I didn’t know where Henry was keeping this page.” He let the other three absorb that information, each turning their heads as they thought it over. He sat up, leaning in closer to impart his greatest secret yet. “Regina, this isn’t just an illustration. This,” he pointed to the image on the page, “is the door. The Author is trapped inside the book.”

Regina and Emma shared looks of equal shock and excitement. Finally after weeks of searching they had their answer. Regina took the page from August and stood, Emma following her a few feet away so they could discuss this development with some semblance of privacy.

“How the hell is the Author trapped inside the book?” Regina asked incredulously.

“Don’t ask me,” Emma countered. “You’re the magic expert.”

Henry rose to his feet, interrupting his mothers’ conversation. “Mom.”

“This is insane,” Regina continued, neither woman having heard their son; which was saying a lot about how important this mission was to them, considering they both jumped at Henry’s every beck and call. “What are we supposed to do, draw a key?”

“What we need to do is figure it out before Gold does.”

“Mom!”

Both turned to face him, but it was Regina who asked, “What is it?” When the three of them were together Regina was ‘mom’ and Emma was ‘Emma’. It was an unspoken rule that worked for them.

“There’s something wrong with August.”

They hurried back to his side to see he had once again slipped into unconsciousness.

“August?” Emma asked, hoping he was just asleep; tired from the events of the past few days. She shook his shoulder. “August?” The two women shared a look. “We need to get him help.” Just then the baby let out a wailing cry and Emma realized it was dinnertime. “Someone’s gotta stay here with Neal.”

Emma couldn’t get August across town by herself, but neither of the moms felt comfortable leaving a baby overnight with their thirteen-to-fifteen year old son.

“I can cast a preservation spell that will temporarily keep the man-child in this state. It will last for about twelve hours; long enough for your parents to return from their… mental health getaway.” After a moment of consideration, Emma nodded in agreement. She left to attend to her brother while Regina worked her magic.

After the baby was fed, changed, and asleep, and the Swan-Mills family was also properly fed, Henry retired to his grandparents’ bed on the first floor – after Regina magically changed the sheets, at Emma’s insistence.

While Henry was getting ready for bed and Regina took care of his sleeping arrangements, Emma pretended to make up the lounge chair to sleep on, claiming she would let Regina take her bed. Henry didn’t buy it for a second, and they all knew it, but he appreciated their attempts to preserve his sanity. Still, to be safe he popped one of the sleeping pills he found in the bathroom cupboard. Dr. Hopper had prescribed them for him after he was under the sleeping curse, and he was grateful his grandmother had yet to throw them out.

Upstairs in the room Emma somehow managed to share with Henry on occasion, Regina paced back and forth, her hands fidgeting nervously with thoughts of what tomorrow might bring. She was so absorbed in her own mind that she failed to hear the sound of footsteps on the stairs leading up to the room.

Emma stood in the entrance, watching her girlfriend for a moment as her pacing led her away from the stairs. When the brunette turned around she startled at the unexpected presence. Emma smiled adoringly.

“Henry’s asleep; knocked out, actually. I had to check his pulse to make sure he was a live.” Regina, clearly missing the teasing in Emma’s voice, started rushing for the stairs. Emma grabbed her shoulders and held her at arm’s length, looking up into Regina’s frantic eyes. “Hey, relax. It was a joke. I’m sure he’s just exhausted from everything that’s going on.” Regina let out a breath of relief.

“I’m sorry, I’m just worried about tomorrow. What are we going to do about that page?”

Sliding her hands up and down Regina’s arms, Emma answered, “It’s okay. We don’t have to figure that out right this second.” At Regina’s look of indecision she added, “When’s the last time you got more than a few minutes of rest.” Regina looked away, and her refusal to answer was enough for Emma. “Come on, we’re going to bed. But first…” Sliding one hand down to Regina’s hip, the other reached into her own pocket and pulled out the Mayor’s blackberry. Slowly, suggestively, Emma slid it into Regina’s back pocket. “From now on,” the blonde husked, equal parts stern and seductive. “Keep. This. On you. Got it?” Her face was less than an inch from Regina’s by the end of her command, their noses brushing temptingly.

Nearly out of breath, Regina could only whisper against Emma’s lips, “Aye, aye, Sheriff.”

SSS

A while later the two women were lying naked in Emma’s bed, tangled up in the sheets and each other. Regina had almost nodded off to sleep when Emma spoke. “I want to tell my parents about me. Soon.”

Regina, now wide awake, looked at Emma in surprise. When they’d discussed this in the past, in the little time between starting their relationship and the Villains’ arrival in town, Emma was afraid of her parents’ rejection; understandable for anyone, but Emma especially given the life she’d led before Storybrooke. So to hear that she’d suddenly changed her mind? Regina was very curious to understand why.

“You should’ve seen the way they smiled at me, Regina, when August and I were reunited. They couldn’t have been more proud of me, thinking him and I had some sort of… romantic connection.” Regina’s heart panged at the revelation. As much as she snarked about the two idiots, she’d come to love them like family. Knowing that they wanted someone else for their daughter, the daughter she was rapidly falling in love with, well it hurt Regina more than she cared to admit.

“If, if you’re sure that’s what you want.”

Emma kissed Regina’s bare shoulder before resting her chin on it. Regina angled her head down to look at Emma. People assumed the blonde was naturally taller than her, that her height advantage was accredited only to the heel she wore regularly, when actually Regina had at least an inch on the Savior. Still, the few times they’d been able to sneak away to have grown up sleep overs, Regina let Emma be the big spoon. It stroked her ego, and admittedly Regina liked the feeling both of those strong arms wrapped around her and the feminine curves pressed against her back. And really, when their legs were wrapped around each other, as they were wont to do, it didn’t matter which one of them was taller.

“I’m sure. You make me happy; the happiest I’ve been in a long time, possibly my whole life. I want to share that with them. I just hope they want to share it with me.”

“I’m sure they will, even if it’s not what they wanted for you.” Emma heard the unspoken _Even if_ I’m _not what they wanted for you._ She pressed a long, hard kiss to Regina’s neck as if to say _You’re what_ I _want for me._ And that was all that mattered in the end.

“Even if they react badly, I have to tell them. I can’t keep wondering how they can truly love and accept me if they only know a part of who I am.”

“Do you want me to be there when you talk to them?” Regina asked.

Emma considered it for a moment. “I think I have to tell them on my own. But,” she paused, and waited for Regina to meet her eyes again, “You’ll definitely have to be there when I tell them about us.” Regina’s eyebrow rose in question. “I haven’t mastered the art of poofing, and when my mother finds out I’m dating her former enemy – her former _stepmother_ – I’m gonna need to be able to get out of there, fast.”

Regina laughed, a full, genuine laugh, at the image her mind produced. “Oh, I wouldn’t miss that conversation for the world,” she promised, leaning down to kiss her girlfriend soundly.

They both agreed to get some sleep, knowing tomorrow was going to be another trying day. Neither of them could have predicted just how trying it would truly be.

SSS


	5. Best *Laid* Plans

SSS

_The Enchanted Forest_

_:/_

Snow White and Prince Charming were running through the forest, following a trail of hoof prints. They weren’t hunting, but Snow had her bow out anyway. She crouched down to touch one of the tracks, making sure they were still following the right ones.

“What is it?” Charming asked loudly, like they weren’t tracking down a skittish creature. “Trail go cold?”

“Shhh!” his wife shushed. She pointed at something just up ahead.

There, not twenty feet away from them, stood the pure white unicorn they were after.

“Come on, let’s get this over with.” Only Snow White could be so disaffected by the presence of a unicorn.

“Snow.” Charming grabbed her arm, pulling her to a stop. “I know you’re worried about Maleficent’s predictions.”

“Aren’t you? If she’s right our child could end up a homosexual.”

“Or it could grow to be a pure heterosexual, she said that too. And who’s to say we can even trust her?”

“Let’s find out,” Snow stated, turning and moving over to the unicorn. As she approached she pulled an apple from her bag. “According to legend, all we need to do is touch its horn and we’ll get a glimpse of our child’s future,” she informed her husband while feeding the apple to the beautiful creature.

Touching the horn of a unicorn. Well if they weren’t worried about their child’s potential queerness before… That had to be some sort of magical transference, right?

Charming saw a vision of his young adult daughter with a significantly older man. He was handsome enough despite the scruffy facial hair. They were laughing and staring lovingly into one another’s eyes.

Jolting back to reality, Charming breathed out, “Snow, it’s alright. Our baby’s gonna be alright!” But she was still frozen in place, staring at the unicorn. “Snow?”

Snow’s vision was of her teenage daughter, not much younger than the one in Charming’s vision though she looked notably different. She was sitting with another teenage girl, this one with dark features and a beautiful face. They were pressed close together, smiling and giggling and also staring lovingly into one another’s eyes.

The second Snow pulled her hand away from the horn Charming exclaimed, “Did you see? Our child’s gonna be just fine.”

“No,” Snow disagreed breathily, turning to her husband with wide, terrified eyes. “Not it’s not. It’s homosexual.” (Bisexual was an actual forbidden word outlawed by the fairies millennia ago. The more you know, you know?)

SSS

_Storybrooke Now_

Between the three of them Emma, Regina, and Henry managed to get August across town to the nunnery/fairies’ house. Blue Mother Fairy Reul Ghorm Superior set him up in a bed and looked him over. Her diagnosis? “He’s been through a lot.”

Regina, already bored of the superior fairy’s judgmental presence, pulled out her phone to read her text messages. There were dozens from Gold and Mal, and even one extra snarky text from Cruella. Regina was glad she’d left her phone on silent all night or she’d never have gotten any sleep. (Not that she got enough to begin with, thanks to Emma. Ahem.)

“What’s happening?” Emma asked. “He was awake, and then he passed out…”

“Well he’s been changed by magic many times. For him to survive this he will have to be very strong.” Blue reached out to check the man’s clammy forehead again. Yup, still been through a lot.

“We have a bigger problem,” Regina whispered to Emma. Emma turned a look of disbelief on her girlfriend.

Allowing herself to be led out into the hallway, Emma listened as Regina explained, “Gold and these other witches are expecting me. They sent me on a mission to get that page from the book, and if I return empty handed, whatever suspicions they have of me will be confirmed.”

Coming to a stop, Emma turned with an air of confidence to face Regina. “Then give them this.” Holding out her hand Emma conjured an identical copy of the image of the door.

Henry at least seemed impressed. “Wow, you’re getting good.”

“I’ve been practicing,” she answered smugly.

Regina was not amused. “A forgery?” she asked, grabbing the page from Emma’s hand. “This is Gold we’re talking about.”

“Then pull out and we’ll protect you,” Emma countered easily.

Regina sighed, tempted. “We still don’t know what they’re up to. It’s a bigger risk not to know.” Her phone beeped in her pocket, and she pulled it out, annoyed. “That’s them, probably wondering where I am.”

“Mom, the forgery’s good,” Henry insisted, comparing the two images in his book.

“Not good enough,” she disagreed. Suddenly and idea struck her. “But maybe what we need is a different kind of copy.” She held her phone above the original page and snapped a pic.

“Because Gold and those witches don’t know that the page contains the actual door,” Emma finished, impressed despite herself. She was still opting for her plan of Regina forgetting about this whole undercover thing. “All they care about is what the door looks like.”

“Hopefully this photo will keep them on their wild goose chase around town.” Regina tucked the phone back into her pocket and Henry closed up his book. “I gotta get going,” she stated regretfully, pulling her son into a tight hug. “Bye Henry.”

After a long moment of smothering Henry finally said, “Okay mom.”

“Sorry,” she apologized insincerely, pulling back to look at his face. “Just not sure if – _when_ I’ll be back to see you.” At Henry’s suddenly panicked face she added, touching his chin the way she always did, “But don’t worry, I’ll be fine.” She leaned in for another quick hug, pressing a kiss to his hair.

Emma stood by wishing she could be a part of their embrace, but neither woman dared to show affection in that house. Catholic nuns who were also magical fairies possessing an incredibly strict sense of morality? Not a good idea. When Regina finally pulled away from their son she turned to face Emma, sending her a quick but meaningful look that reiterated _I’ll be fine_.

SSS

Emma and Henry arrived back at the loft to find her parents and Hook of all people standing around looking very uncomfortable.

“Hey. Killian, what’s wrong?”

“Before Ursula left she told me what the Villains have planned. To get their Happy Endings they intend to darken your heart, to turn you into a Villain so you’ll no longer be the Savior.”

“What?” Henry asked incredulously. “You can’t just un-savior the Savior.”

Ignoring his atrocious teenage grammar Hook explained, “Ursula said Gold has a way. He can use the Author to do it.”

David and Mary Margaret looked petrified. Emma was holding back a laugh. “That’s insane. If that’s what their plan is stop worrying. It’s ridiculous. Author or no Author I am not going dark.”

“Darkness is a funny thing. It creeps up on you,” Hook argued.

“No one, not Rumpelstiltskin or some Author, gets to decide who I am.” Her parents, the people who went to great and terrible lengths to decide who she would become, hung back from the conversation. Their eyes were nearly filled with tears; not with guilt over what they’d done, no of course not, but with fear that either they would soon be found out, or the equally terrifying possibility that Gold would succeed.

“We have to do something, without Emma finding out the truth.” Mary Margaret whispered to David before she hurried out the front door.

David turned to Emma with a poor attempt at a reassuring grin as he followed after his wife. “She’ll be fine.”

SSS

When Regina returned to the cabin she too was greeted with an unsettled trio waiting for her.

“Oh at last, I feel I’ve aged a decade waiting for you,” Cruella griped dramatically.

“Well you certainly look like it,” Regina easily returned. Cruella looked affronted.

“Where’s the page, Regina?” Mal demanded.

Regina’s silence was answer enough. “Don’t tell me you failed,” Gold said.

“The page was under a protection spell,” she explained. “Something cooked up by the Savior,” she added, like Emma was competent enough at magic to be cooking up her own spells. But as far as Gold was aware Emma had spent the last two months he was gone studying and practicing rigorously. “She almost caught me trying to break it. I had to flee.”

“You’re sure that’s what happened?” Gold asked suspiciously.

Regina leveled him with her most serious look. “Of course I am.”

“It’s just that you’ve been gone an awfully long time. And yet you come back empty-handed.” The group closed in on her, vaguely threatening.

“I’m not empty-handed,” she replied, taking out her phone and pulling up the picture. “I got this.”

“A photograph,” Gold stated. Cruella snatched the device from her like a dog would a bone. Regina feared she nearly lost her hand.

“Oh and an incompetent one, too. That glare ruins any clear view of the door.” She went to hand the phone back to its owner, only for Gold to grab it from her first.

“No that’s not a glare.” He circled around to face the three women at once, his eyes never leaving the phone’s screen. “That’s magic.” Regina’s eyes widened in panic, though it could easily be interpreted as shock. “This door has been sealed by it. This is the door we’ve been looking for.”

“You think the Author is trapped in an illustration?” Mal clarified. “But that would mean…”

“The Sorcerer imprisoned him in the book,” Gold finished, amazed. “We need to get it.” Turning his attention to Regina, Gold ordered, “Bring us the page.”

“That won’t be easy,” Regina warned. “The Savior isn’t about to let it out of her sight.”

“Don’t worry about her.” Regina snapped her head around to look at Mal. “I’ve got just the thing.”

SSS

“Everything alright, Swan?” Hook asked while they waited for her parents to return home. They’d spent some time going back and forth about Gold’s plan before ultimately agreeing that there was nothing they could do and to worry about it if the time ever came. After several moments of awkward silence, at least on Hook’s part, he noticed that the blonde seemed to be deep in thought.

“Hmm? Yeah, I’m fine.”

“How’s that friend of yours? The wooden puppet man?”

Turning to look at him, wondering if it was just a coincidence that he’d managed to pinpoint exactly what was on her mind – it was – she responded, “Not great.”

“You care for him?” He wondered how they came to be such great friends, meanwhile Emma and himself struggled to hold a regular conversation.

“Yeah. See, well, remember that video I showed you from the foster home?”

“With your friend, when you were a girl?” he clarified.

“Lily. Her name was Lily. She was my first and best friend, the first person I’d ever felt really close to. Well, it turned into something more, for a while, but then I found out she lied to me. I felt betrayed, and I pushed her away forever. And after that I just… wasn’t great at making friends. August was the rare exception. That’s why this is so important to me.” Hook nodded in understanding before something out the window caught his attention. “What?” Emma asked, turning to see what he was looking at.

“Emma, look.” Hook pulled the curtain aside to give her a better view. A flash of purple was quickly spreading across the town.

“What hell is th –?”

SSS

“The Savior looks a lot less threatening in this state, doesn’t she?” Mal commented, her and Cruella gathered in front of the sofa Emma and Hook were passed out on. From across the room Regina sent Hook a scathing glare, noticing Emma’s head rested on his shoulder.

“I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t tempted to ring her scrawny neck right now,” Cruella remarked, taking a few steps closer to the couch to emphasize her point.

“Don’t even think about it,” Regina warned. At the other three’s looks of disbelief, she added, “I think we can all agree killing the Savior at this point would be ill-advised.” It was a half-hearted explanation at best, but it seemed to be enough for the others.

“You’re right about that,” Gold agreed. “You’re wrong about the location of the page. It’s not here.”

“We just have to keep looking. The page was here two hours ago. It didn’t just grow legs and walk out of here on its own.”

“Unless someone walked out of here with it,” Gold suggested.

“I put the whole town to sleep,” Mal pointed out.

“Except those who’ve been under a sleeping curse and are immune.” Regina bristled, suspecting where he was going with that line of thought. “I may know a resourceful young man who’s wide awake.” Regina turned to face the man – her son’s grandfather – her upper lip curling into a snarl. “One who’s very protective of the story book and all its contents. One who’s going to test his mother’s commitment towards helping me.”

SSS

“What are they after?” Mary Margaret wondered as her and David spied the Villain’s leaving the loft. They were headed back to check on Emma after the sleeping curse hit, but just as they rounded the corner they saw Gold, Regina, and the witches exiting the building.

Mary Margaret’s phone rang, and they ducked back behind the building they were using for cover. Pulling it out, she noticed the contact information and breathed a sigh of relief. “Oh, Henry! Henry are you okay? Where are- where are you?”

“At the Sorcerer’s mansion. When everyone fell asleep I figured the bad guys were up to something and I’d better get the page somewhere safe.”

“Henry don’t do anything. We are on our way. As long as you have that page you’re in danger.”

“Just sit tight, okay? We’re headed your way now.”

But apparently danger didn’t mean _right this second_ because the Charmings decided it was a good time to stop and have yet another chat about morals.

“Let’s cut over to the harbor. It’ll be faster,” Mary Margaret explained, already rushing off in that direction. But David wasn’t moving. “David?” Moving back to his side she asked again, “David?”

“Hang on. I think there’s a way we can put a stop to all this. I think, I think we should destroy the page.”

“What?”

“If we destroy it, Gold can never free the Author and use him to turn Emma.”

“The Author would be trapped inside the book forever!” Mary Margaret pointed out, instantly at level ten moral panic complete with a high pitched whine. “Or it could kill him! Regina wouldn’t get her Happy Ending!” Regina was finally happy with a man! Mary Margaret didn’t want to take that from her, to make Regina go back to a deviant lifestyle in search of happiness.

“We don’t know that,” David disagreed. “We just know that she won’t get it from the Author. We’ve gone too far down this path. We have to protect Emma.”

SSS

“Grandma, Grandpa, you won’t believe what I just –” Henry called out as the door to the Sorcerer’s library opened, only to pause when he noticed his mother entering the room.

“What Henry?” she asked, attempting to sound vaguely intimidating to her darling boy, to convey to him exactly the situation they were in.

“Mom, what are you doing here?” He approached her, only mildly cautious.

She stared at him regretfully. “I’m sorry. I didn’t want it to come to this.”

Two sets of heels sounded from the doorway, accompanied by Mal’s statement of, “Looks like we’re here just in time.”

“I told you I could handle this,” Regina reminded, annoyed with them and terrified for her son.

“We’re not sure you have it in you to be a true disciplinarian,” Cruella explained before turning her focus to Henry. “I’d say you shouldn’t be alarmed, darling, but I’d be lying.”

“Lay a hand on my son and I’ll end you,” Regina threatened, her lip curling back into its earlier snarl.

“You won’t have to do anything as long as he cooperates,” Mal pointed out in a soft, slightly dangerous voice.

“Henry, give me the page.”

“Mom, no.”

“Henry Daniel Mills.” She gave him a long, expressive look. His eyes widened in understanding. “You will do as I say.”

“… Okay.” Pursing his lips, he pulled an illustration of the door from his book and handed it to his mother.

She passed it along to Maleficent. “As promised. Now let’s find Gold and set this Author free.” The others turned and left, Regina following after one last meaningful glance at her son.

SSS

It was only a few minutes later that Mary Margaret and David arrived at the Sorcerer’s mansion. Apparently the short cut through the harbor wasn’t really very short, not that they were aware.

“Henry?” Mary Margaret whispered incase the other women were there. When she realized they weren’t she and David both called out for him. The boy in question stepped out from the side of a shelf. “Oh! Come on, the Villains have to be on their way.”

“Already been here.”

“What?” David asked in disbelief. “Did they take the page?”

“They think they did,” Henry answered, smirking. “Except my mom, of course. She just gave me a look, and I knew exactly what she meant.” He shrugged at the impressed looks on his grandparents’ faces.

“You gave them the forged page Emma made,” David stated.

“Smart kid,” Mary Margaret praised. “Where’s the real one?”

Henry moved over to one of the shelves and pulled out a blank book. Inside he’d tucked away the page in case the Villains realized their mistake and came back for it.

“Great job.” David reached over and took the book from Henry. “Mary Margaret and I are gonna take this and keep it safe.”

“There’s something else. I found the key,” Henry stated, holding up a small golden key for them to see. “We can free the Author!” He moved to press the key to the page when David suddenly slammed it shut.

“Henry, hold on.”

“What are you doing?”

“We don’t know what’s gonna happen. Just, let us handle things.”

“But I found the key –”

“Henry, it’s too dangerous! Go!”

Stunned, Henry looked from David’s outstretched palm to Mary Margaret’s apologetic face. Unsure of what else to do, he dropped the key in his grandfather’s hand before hurrying from the room.

When the door closed behind him Mary Margaret moved to stand in front of her husband, rubbing her hands over her face. “So now we’re lying to Henry?” She released a heavy sigh. “If we keep this up, we’re no different than Gold.”

SSS

Gold was exiting his pawn shop when Regina and the others caught up with him.

“What were you doing in there?” Cruella wondered, though her tone suggested she already had an idea.

“Mind your own business,” Gold snapped. “Did you find the boy?”

Holding out the page, Mal answered, “We found the boy.”

“ _I_ found him,” Regina corrected, like Gold really cared which one of them did it.

Gold studied the page for a moment before declaring, “This is rubbish.”

“What?” Regina breathed out nervously.

“It’s a fake. You spent enough time with the book. You should know the difference.”

“They tricked me,” Regina insisted.

“What, you think I didn’t suspect you?” He ripped the useless page in half. “I’ve been waiting for this moment. I knew it would come. Maleficent,” he ordered.

“Wait, I can expl –” Mal waved her hand over Regina and the brunette was instantly unconscious, slumping over onto the sidewalk.

“Bring her to her vault.”

SSS

Ruby rushed over to the pawn shop the second the sleeping curse was lifted. Bell was sitting up on the bed in the back room, rubbing her head and squinting around the room in confusion. Ruby hurried to her side, sitting on the bed and pulling her girlfriend into her arms.

“Hey, are you okay?”

“I, I think so. Except, when I fell asleep I was in the front room, next to a display case. How’d I end up here?”

It only took Ruby a moment to think of an answer. “Gold,” she bit out.

Belle immediately tensed in her arms. “Why can’t he just leave me alone?”

“Because he’s a psychopath,” Ruby answered easily. “He doesn’t care about what anyone else wants; only himself.”

Belle nodded mournfully into her shoulder. “I’m just glad he doesn’t know it’s you I’m seeing, and not Will. Who knows what he would do to you.”

Ruby placed her hands on Belle’s cheeks, turning her face so she could look seriously into the other woman’s eyes. “Hey, listen to me. You don’t need to worry about me, alright? I can handle myself. I,” she paused, suddenly nervous. Sucking in a breath, she said, “I love you.” Belle gasped softly at the revelation. “Whatever happens, I’m not gonna let him get to us. Okay?”

Nodding, speechless, Belle leaned in and kissed Ruby soundly on the lips. Pulling back after a moment, she said, “I love you too.”

SSS

David was poised to toss the page into the fire. “We have to do it,” he said to Mary Margaret, both to convince her and himself.

“What are we going to tell Henry?” she asked woodenly.

Shaking his head, David decided, “We tell him the key was wrong, the page disintegrated. We’ll figure something out. Let’s just burn it and worry about it later.”

“More lies. I can’t do this,” she realized. “I gave Henry that book to give him hope, and now I’m gonna lie and take it away? And what about Regina? She’s finally becoming a friend. I went to her for help with Emma, with our secret. She’s kept it, even despite her close friendship with Emma. She’s risked her life for us. And we’re going to repay her by destroying her chance at a Happy Ending?”

“Well, maybe there’s another way.”

“No, David! We have to tell Emma the truth. Because Heroes do what’s right, not what’s easy.”

SSS

“We need to tell you something,” Mary Margaret told Emma upon returning to the loft. Hook had left shortly after waking from the curse, needing to check on his crew and Will. Henry arrived home not long after, explaining his grandparents’ strange behavior to his birth mother. She jumped on them the second they stepped through the door.

“Does it have anything to do with you snapping at Henry about the page?” she accused.

“Yes,” Mary Margaret answered, sitting down at the table without even bothering to remove her coat. David followed suit. Emma and Henry took the seats across from them and waited to hear what they had to say.

“Before you were born, Maleficent told us there was a possibility you wouldn’t be born heterosexual,” Mary Margaret blurted out. Emma’s mouth fell open in shock. Not at the revelation, obviously, just that this was the direction the conversation was going. “We sought out a unicorn, where we touched the horn and had visions of your future. David saw you with a male partner, and I saw you with a female. We feared for your future if my vision were to come true, for the bleak and miserable life you would have.

“We encountered a magician not long after that, and he told us of a way to ensure your goodness. He explained to us how everyone is created with the potential for both… lifestyles, and how it is determined before a person is born. He told us the only way to banish the potential for homosexuality from our baby was for it to be absorbed by another living vessel.

“Of course we couldn’t do that to a human child, but then we remembered that Maleficent, as a dragon, had just laid an egg. We thought surely such a beast must already be pure evil, what harm was there in giving it your potential for deviance as well?

“So we used poppies to put Cruella and Ursula to sleep and we snuck into Maleficent’s cave. We defeated her and stole the egg, promising to return it when we were done. We brought it to the magician and he performed the spell, transferring all of your darkness – including the potential for homosexuality – into the egg. It was only after he was done that he explained the egg would need to be banished to another realm, that that level of darkness could not exist in our world.

“It was only after the portal opened that the egg started to hatch. A baby’s hand broke through.” The four of them paused to let the weight of those words sink in. Emma was near tears. Henry looked like he might be sick. “Cruella and Ursula arrived, and they got taken by the portal along with the baby. That’s how they ended up in our world,” Mary Margaret added, almost as an afterthought, when no one spoke.

Henry was lost in thought. He knew the people from the Enchanted Forest weren’t very accepting when it came to people like his moms, but to hear the lengths his grandparents – the good guys – went to so that Emma couldn’t be who she was supposed to be? It shook him to the core. He stood from the table and dazedly moved over to the couch.

Emma took another moment to compose her thoughts. “This whole time I was right. You were lying.” Her parents looked at her, confused. That’s what she was upset about? Not what they had done in the past, but the fact that they lied to her now? (They clearly didn’t know their daughter very well.) “I wanted to believe you. I wanted to believe _in_ you.”

David, doing what he does best, tried to excuse their actions. “It, we were just… trying to protect you.”

“Emma, are you alright?” Mary Margaret asked, reaching for her daughter’s hand. Emma flinched away from her.

“No.” She quickly rose to her feet. “I’m not okay.” Backing away from the table, she breathed out, “I gotta go.”

Mary Margaret chased her to the door. “Please, stop. I’m your mother.”

“I don’t care.” Emma was almost out the door when she turned back. “You know, it didn’t even work.” At her parents’ looks of confusion she elaborated, “The spell. It didn’t work.” Then she was out the door, leaving David and Mary Margaret in stunned silence.

SSS

_Flashback Time_

Cinderella sent Snow and Charming a unicorn mobile to hang above the baby’s crib. Was she trying to ruin their lives?

“Get it out of here! I don’t want it!”

“What’s going on?” Charming asked, entering the nursery.

“Look what Cinderella sent. Unicorns!” Snow held one up for emphasis.

“I like uni-achoo-corns!” The dwarves loved unicorns, all except for Happy that is. It was common knowledge that Happy hated unicorns.

“Sneezy, give us a minute please,” Charming requested. The dwarf hurried from the room without a second thought. “Snow, it’s just a mobile.”

“A unicorn gave me a vision which led to us ripping Maleficent’s child away. I don’t want a reminder of that literally hanging over our baby.” She paused for a second, than added, “Plus, homosexuals love unicorns. I can’t believe we didn’t realize that before. Of course it was going to give us that vision.”

“You know that isn’t true. The unicorn doesn’t control the visions it gives.” Snow nodded he acknowledgement.

The two of them shared a long talk about what they did, how it was wrong, if they could ever redeem themselves, and how to be better for their child. Charming used his powers of rationalization and persuasion to convince both himself and his wife that they were as good and pure as ever.

“Maybe these unicorns are a good thing,” Snow conceded. “Maybe they’re here to remind us how easy it can be to lose our way.” Seemed more likely that they were there to represent their child’s future queerness, but sure.

“And as long as we have each other we can be the best versions of ourselves. Won’t happen overnight.” Charming took the glass ornament from her hand and hung it with the rest above the crib. “But we can take the long, hard path.” Ahem.

SSS

“Well I say we just slit her throat right now, get it over with,” Cruella suggested as the trio of Villains stood in Regina’s vault, gathered around the still-unconscious woman.

“No,” Gold disagreed, his patience wearing thin.

“Well if it’s too messy for you darling, Mal can incinerate her.”

“We’re doing nothing of the sort,” he snapped. Cruella pouted.

“She’ll never help us,” Mal pointed out.

“Of course she will,” Gold disagreed. “She just doesn’t know it yet. I have something that, the moment she sees it, will make Regina do my bidding forever.” He whispered the last word menacingly. He was so sure of his leverage. Little did he know…

SSS

Emma sat on a bench down by the docks, staring at the image of the door she’d been carrying with her when she hurried from the loft. She wanted to release him, just to spite her parents. The sound of approaching footsteps made her lift her head.

“Hey,” Henry greeted, trying to sound brave.

“Hey, kid,” she greeted weakly.

“August is awake. Grandma and Grandpa,” he hesitated at the terms, still processing everything he’d heard, everything he’d learned about them. “They’re with him.”

“Is he..?”

“He’s gonna be fine.” Henry smiled, though it came out kind of sad. Offering her own sad smile, Emma pulled her son into a tight embrace; both offering and taking support.

SSS

“August!” Emma called, bursting into his room and the nunnery. She stopped short when she noticed her parents standing by his bed. Approaching cautiously, she asked, “How are you?”

“Uh, tired but better.” The tension between Emma and her parents was palpable. He stared at her curiously. “Something’s wrong. How are you?”

“I’m fine.”

He smiled at her, unconvinced. “You forget, I know lying.” Could he really blame her? Half the time she forgets that she’s supposed to know lying too.

“It’s a long story. It’s not really worth getting into right now. Especially when I have a surprise for you.” She held up the page and opened her hand to reveal the key. “Look what Henry found.”

Staring at it in awe, August said, “You did it.”

“That’s right. Now what do you say we let out the Author? I have some questions.”

“Emma,” Mary Margaret begged. “Please. Think about this. This is just what Regina wanted. This is what Gold wanted to. He was doing it to turn you.”

“I’m not worried about it, are you?” she asked pointedly. Her parents breathed sighs of frustration, knowing there was no right answer to that question. One was upsetting and the other was a lie. Emma turned her attention back to the sick man in the bed. “Cuz now I have some questions about me. And he can tell us everything.”

“If he’s the one who wrote your story.”

“What’re you talking about?”

What he was talking about was the truth, that the Author was a job, not a person. Many had had the job, but only one abused the power. The last one, the one trapped inside the book. He began to manipulate instead of record. It made for a better story.

“That’s why the Sorcerer and his Apprentice put him in there,” August explained. “They’re the ones who choose the Author, and they took responsibility for their error.”

“If they did, and he’s still in there, he still has the ability to alter the book, to alter the course of things.”

“You sure have come a long way from the woman who wouldn’t believe,” August teased. Emma smiled half-heartedly.

“Yeah, I have.”

Rising from the bed, Emma set the page down, pushing the key through the door and turning it. The door opened and a bright yellow light burst from the page, releasing a man onto the floor of the room.

He groaned as he stood up. “Oof. Oh. It was cramped in there,” he explained with a grin. “I couldn’t even reach this.” He produced a bottle of brandy from his back pocket. David and Mary Margaret stared at the man and the bottle with familiarity. “And I was parched.” He took a healthy swig of the drink.

“Where did you get that?” David asked suspiciously.

“This? A, a nice young couple I met on the road gave it to me. You want some? Sort of nutmeg-y.”

“You,” Mary Margaret breathed in disbelief. Emma turned to look at her in surprise. “ _You_ are the Author?”

“The peddler?” David clarified.

Ignoring her parents, Emma said to the man, “We have a lot of questions.”

Chuckling, he said, “I bet you do,” before yanking the curtains down over their heads and sprinting from the room and out of the house.

Emma was the first to recover, untangling herself and chasing after him. “Hey!” She made it all the way out onto that one street before she lost him. She spun around in every direction but there was no sign of the man. The Author that she and Regina had spent so long trying to find had vanished.

SSS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phew! 80 pages and almost 32,000 words later, it’s done! Ran a lot longer than I expected it too, and I had to include more of the episodes than I wanted. Plus I had to split this into two parts, and who knows how long it’ll take me to finish the second part. But here it is. I hope you all enjoy, and I hope this makes watching the canon show a little bit more fun for you.
> 
> You can find me on twitter and youtube with the same username, iFlipForRizzles. 
> 
> Thanks!
> 
> ~ Jen


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